Shitty things aren't in charge around here

On a particularly sunny day in mid-August, I along with about 80,000 team members worldwide learned that in about a month, our company would eliminate 7,000 jobs (give or take 1,000). 

I approached the intervening time like any sane person would: hopeful yet cautious. Eliminating 7k meant there were still 71,000 people with jobs; the law of averages dictated I'd probably remain employed. 

Much to my surprise, I'm above average. On Monday, September 16, I learned my job had been eliminated. For 60 days, I'll remain "on the books" with full pay and benefits. I have two months to figure out what's next. 

Which means I'm spending a lot of time right now doing math. I suck at math. 

I've also spent a lot of time talking with the people who keep me sane. My best friend, my other best friend, my sister, my fake brother, my layoff sherpa, my work besties - they've basically lined up to offer support, occasional wisdom, and more hilarity than I deserve. 

In one of those conversations, I mentioned that I thought I might just get married; health benefits, procured! We are very, very funny people. 

Am I worried? A little. I'm prone to feelings of overwhelm, and thankfully I have people to call when the walls start closing in. I have moments when I think of the last time I had to look for work, which got dark and sad until things lightened up. So here's the thing: I've done this before, but I've never done it as the person I am today. I get to figure out my next chapter with the wisdom and confidence of someone who knows she has historically come out on top every time. 

It's going to be okay. I'm going to be okay. Because sometimes shitty things happen, but shitty things aren't in charge around here.