Ups and downs

My Aunt Shirley had a theory. She believed that once the gallbladder was removed, it was all downhill from there. No medical science backed her up, but that's what she believed. Take out the gallbladder, and other things will begin to go wrong. Factor in that Aunt Shirl was an RN, and you start to wonder ... is there any truth to the theory?

If you look at the way my life has bumped along since last July, you'd have to wonder. I feel like I've gone from one illness or injury to another since having that damn thing taken out, but I refuse to be sucked in by the hair-brained idea. Sooner or later, I have to get well, don't I?

This latest round of my unwellness is related to my left knee. I injured ages ago, and I have to be careful of it. Something I did at the gym last Saturday really did me in, although as long as I don't have to walk, I'm fine. I've been limping since Saturday night, and now the muscles in my leg that allow me to limp hurt, too. I'm hopeful that rest will heal the sucker ... and you know how much I love sitting at home doing nothing. I limp in to the office every day, sit in my comfy chair, write for eight hours and limp home. I'm pretty sure that, when all is said and done, my sofa will have a butt-shaped dent in it.

In other news, my dad, sister Kathie and nephew Alex are in Disney World right now. I'm exceedingly jealous. Airfare is so high these days, I don't know if I'll get to take a vacation to an exotic locale, but I'm incredibly grateful to have inexpensive options, even if it means I'm hanging out in Lake Geneva for a week.

I love sleeping with the windows open. Last night it was particularly captivating, because there was a chill in the air and a full moon. Snuggle and dream.

Do you have a recipe for the perfect Bolognese sauce? Please share it with me.

I think this weekend it will be warm enough to take the top off the car. I'll bundle up if I have to, but I can't wait!

Oops!

I missed my Tuesday posting this week! I'm a little thrown off these days, but here I am, prepared to share what's been going on. Maybe not ten things, maybe more. I'm not counting today.

I've been deaf in one ear for a week. It makes me feel like Kelly, except it's on the other side. When I want to see "Flanagan's Wake" on St. Patrick's Day with Marge, I had to make sure she was on my left so I could hear her if she talked to me. She said it was like sitting next to Kelly in reverse. (The show, by the way, was hysterical. People who are really good at improv amaze me.)

The deafness has been driving me crazy, mostly because it causes a ringing in my ear that keeps me from sleeping. So I went back to the doctor and he found no infection, but did see a lot of inflammation in my ear, and congestion in my nasal cavity. (Pretty, huh?) So he prescribed a steroid and more rest. Turns out this burning-the-candle-at-both-ends thing has probably lead me to not fully recover from anything, and that's why I haven't really felt great since November. So I need to slow things down in order to get healthy. I can still go to the gym, he said, but I probably can't do everything else I want to do. It's hell getting old.

I went to the gym last night but was only able to do the first hour of my workout - the strength training part. My heartrate was way too high - like in a heavy cardio zone - during part of the workout, and that was a clear sign to me that an hour of cardio would not be a good idea. So I took myself home and made dinner, took a bath and was in bed early. Aging divorcee learns new tricks.

My friend Eric made me a box set of CDs for in my car. I'm enjoying the old-school manner of listening to music; instead of having every song in my library on my iPod, I'm choosing CDs and loving it. So here's my challenge to you: Make me a CD to listen to in the car. Put together songs you think I'd like to listen to, burn 'em to a CD and send it my way. Please?

I saw the absolute worst show. I'm not going to tell you what it was or where I saw it, because everyone should judge for him or herself, but oh my God. At the end of the show, I thought the cast should apologize. I thought they should offer me twice the cost of the ticket back, for paying and then sitting through this atrocity. It still hurts my brain. It makes me not want to see any community theater for awhile. It also makes me want to hit people who can't act or direct but insist on trying.

I look adorable today. My hair turned out like I always want it to but can never do on purpose. It's a good Maggie day.

I love having girlfriends. It's not something I'm used to; I've always been one of the guys. But suddenly these days I have strong and wonderful women at my side, enjoying conversation and laughter and a glass of wine and occasionally a night of really bad theater. It's a nice place to be, a part of this aging sisterhood of the travelling vino. I like it.

And that's all, for now. Later, friends!

No ten today, only joy

I know it's Tuesday, gentle reader, and that you've gotten used to learning ten things that are swimming through my brain. But not today, darlings. Today I'm on my pity pot and you're just gonna have to suffer through it with me.

I have a sinus infection. Now, if it were an isolated incident I wouldn't complain. But this is probably the third or fourth bout of crap I've had to deal with this winter. I'm quite done with it. And frankly, this damn thing hurts. I've never had a sinus infection before. I don't want one again. My routine these days is: Neti pot, cup of tea, saline spray, nap, repeat.

I'm simply not good at being sick. I would, thank you very much, far prefer to have someone dote on me and bring me tea and rub my feet while I whine. The cat has yet to learn how to do that, so I'm on my own. And none too happy about it.

In other news, there's a lot of death stuff flying around lately. A few weeks ago was the seven-year anniversary of Mama Rice's death. Experiencing the loss of Sue alongside Mike and the family helped prepare me for losing my "real" mom about a year later; we'll "celebrate" that next month. Today is the three-year anniversary of my friend Millie's mom's early departure from earth, in May it will be a year since we lost Eric's dad and to sit on top of everything like the grieving cherry on a horrible cake, my friend Gretchen's husband died of a heart attack late last week. See what I mean? Lots of death.

Now it does offer a bit of perspective. After all, I have a sinus infection, but I'm not dead. It serves as a reminder that life is short, and we should play while we can. We should smile and get out into the sunshine, because those who left us too soon would have wanted it that way. It doesn't help a whole lot in those moments when my jaw aches from the sinus pain (yes, it's that bad) but it does remind me that, even in the painful moments, there is still so much joy.

And at the end of it all, that's what we all need. As much as we need food, shelter and clothing, as readily as we require oxygen, we need joy. If you haven't had any lately, may I suggest going outside and dancing in the grass, listening to a baby giggle, or playing Springsteen's "Born to Run" with the windows down (cracked just a little if it's cold where you are) while driving for an ice cream. Because that's how they would've wanted it.

Ten on Tuesday

1. Photographs and Memories. It saddens me in ways I can't really explain that one of my dearest friends has checked out. Cute Brian was someone I leaned on pretty heavily during the early days of what I like to call the Great Marriage Collapse of 2006. He took me for a four-hour drive the day Chris moved out of our apartment. He met me for coffee or breakfast or whatever, every time I asked. He infused one of the toughest times of my life with increments of great joy; he just never ceased to love me. So it hurts a lot now, because I haven't heard from him since July, shortly after the gallbladder surgery. In the movie in my head, he was the first co-pilot of the Wrangler, since I was the first co-pilot of his, years ago. It sucks, but it is what it is.
2. Lady in Red. And white. And that God awful purple furry-looking thing. The fashion at the Oscars ranged from the sublime (oh, Penelope Cruz, you never disappoint) to the ridiculous (Zoe Saldana, really ... first of all, eat a damn cookie. Second of all, do you not have a full-length mirror?) I don't watch the Oscars. They annoy me. But I do follow the fashion, and there were some definite hits, misses and "what the hell was she thinkings?" All I know for sure is, my darling Penelope, Queen Latifah and Helen Mirren (can I be that pretty when I get to be her age?) were simply beautiful. Everyone else should take note.
3. Hooked on a Feelin'. I work hard. I play hard. I sleep hard. Those three things seem to go hand-in-hand. And I'll be damned, a lot of it has to do with finding stuff I love to do at the gym. Like Strike class - or ninja, as I like to call it. Kickboxing and combat drills, done with weights. For real. My shoulders are killing me today, and I can't lift my arms above my shoulders, but it's a really awesome feeling. Now if I could just convince a few more people to stop showing up at the gym so I can get a decent parking space ...
4. She Got the Gold Mine, I Got the Shaft. Okay, so he got a lot in the divorce by way of money, covered debts, wardrobe and worldly goods. (Sometimes I still miss that damn couch.) But I really did get the gold mine; I got my self respect, and some amazing people. Including (but not limited to) Elaina Burklow Seep, with whom I'll be seeing the Indigo Girls in April. What an odd pairing - two ex-wives of the same dude. Yet, we get along famously. I think I definitely ended up with the better deal.
5. Dirty Laundry. What are you doing August 1? You should come watch me and co-worker Mike in this race. Yes, I'm going to do it. Yes, it's going to be awesome. Yes, I'm probably going to get hurt. No, I don't care.
6. Look Out Any Window. It's gray today, but you can still see it. Spring. It's out there, waiting. Can't wait to see the first robin!
7. The Night that the Lights Went Out in Georgia. Or Arlington Heights. So, last spring, my electricity was shut off. Yes, my bill-paying was that bad. I lived for a few days with no power. Every day when I walk into my home and have light, it makes me smile. After years of living paycheck to paycheck, it's a good feeling to know that I can take care of myself.
8. That's Amore. Or just a distinct desire for Italian food. I have this jar of spaghetti sauce in the pantry that I cannot open. It taunts me.
9. Margaret's Car. Oh, I know what you're thinkin'. "What is she up to? All the other headings here are song titles, but that isn't." Well, you'd be wrong. My old friend Eric used to be in a band, and that was one of their songs. It was also the name of the band. See? I inspire art. Or I did, 18 years ago. Anyway, Eric created for me the Margaret's Car CD Box Set, four CDs to play in the Jeep. It's awesome. So what I'm thinking is this: You have music. You should probably make me a CD, too. You would if you loved me.
10. Good Morning, Starshine. Well, good morning yourself. I'd like the waffles, please.

What's goin' on?

I know it's Tuesday. I just don't feel like posting the usual list. Sue me.

Last weekend, I took my near-Godson to LegoLand Discovery Center in Schaumburg. Ross is the eldest son of my friends Marc and Polly. Ross' actual Godmom sorta fell down on the job. This is not okay where Aunt Maggie is concerned, so I stepped up to the plate. And had a great time! He is such a sweet, thoughtful and polite eight-year-old boy. I thoroughly enjoyed the entire day.

When I took him home after we built and raced cars, rode dragons and watched how Legos are made, I hung out with his mom, dad, brother, sister, grandma and assorted extended family into the night. It was incredibly fun, eating their food and talking as the sun went down and the laughter ramped up. This is family. And I'm included!

Okay, so it's no secret that last year my friend Jessica and I launched a non-profit organization. Did you not know? Well, feel free to check it out. Buy a t-shirt. We're incredibly proud of Choose Awesome, and though we aren't quite where we want to be yet, we're getting there. This week to the Awesome Blog we posted an interview with Rob Meadows, an organic berry farmer in Vermont. I love connecting with people who have made awesome choices, even when faced with sometimes unawesome reality.

I didn't make it to the gym last night. I got stuck at work a little late, and then I couldn't find a parking place. This irritates the Maggie.

Spring is in the air. Every morning when I wake up and open the blinds, I get a little thrill when I realize I don't have to sweep snow off the car. It's the little things, you know, that make life wonderful.

I'm good at my job. Lately, I've started to feel like I've really hit my stride. I've begun to challenge myself. I've begun to actually beat deadlines (with a club, no less.) It's such a blessing to get paid to do something I enjoy.

Every time I clean my rugs, the cat pukes on them. I think he knows.

I love you.

That is all.