Friday, November 30, 2012

New life and the relentless pursuit of awesome

This week has brought some crazy shit. Most notably the fact that I am a great aunt.

Well, I've always been great at being an aunt. (Don't argue with me; I will seriously cut you if you disagree.) But now, there's a whole new generation. My nephew, Alex - the only niece or neph who is an actual blood relative - has a baby. He and his girlfriend became parents early yesterday morning.

The baby - Alexandria, she's called - is tiny. She is wee beyond wee, arriving almost three months before the world was quite ready for her. She will be hanging out in the neonatal ICU for as long as the doctors say, and my bet is that we'll measure that time in months. But the point is that she's here.

Life simply will not wait until we're ready for it. Life happens while you're making plans. Sometimes, life happens while you're sticking your head in the sand ... waiting for something to blow over ... hoping things will get better.

And then, this happens. A new life is created, and you gotta fast-forward into reality. This reality includes a tiny, fragile human in need of support and love (and probably a really cool playlist; do preemies like music?)

Her parents need support and love, too. (And they'd probably appreciate music, come to think of it.) They are young, and they have chosen to become parents at such a tender age. Am I wild about my nephew having this responsibility at a time when getting to an 8:00 class should be his biggest worry? Nope. But there are only two things that actually matter here:
  1. He is my family.
  2. I love him.
So I have a choice. I can either let go of the vision I had for his life and allow him to create his own ... or I can be a bitter, middle-aged woman with an alienated nephew. I can choose awesome, or I can choose something so much less than that.

I think you know where this is going; I choose awesome.

We are called to love; we are called to abandon judgment; we are called to treat one another with kindness. And that starts with family.

So ... welcome to our world, Alexandria. I hope we can manage to give you the love, encouragement and joy that I believe is your birthright. Now your only job is to grow strong.

Monday, November 19, 2012

Thankful

Thanksgiving is almost here.

It's my favorite day of the year, and not just because of the stuffing (although that's a big part of it). It goes back to celebrations when I was a child, meals around the table at our neighbor's house, more food than any one group of people could possibly consume and desserts that rivaled anything the finest pastry chefs could present. It's memories of "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" and the Macy's parade (complete with Santa losing his pants).

It's family ... that big, big family made up of everyone you love. It's waking up early the next day to go shopping, and it's taking a moment to really consider everything you have to be grateful for.

It's almost Thanksgiving, and with that in mind, I feel compelled to list those things I'm grateful for, right this very moment.

  • My family - the people I'm related to, and the ones I've chosen (and who choose me right back).
  • Music. My life's soundtrack is varied and beautiful.
  • Coffee.
  • The way 2012 has been filled with opportunities to travel.
  • Warm socks.
  • Pumpkin muffins, soup, bread, etc.
  • Home. Right now, and for the next few years, home is my sister Pat's house. It really feels like home these days, and for that I am extremely grateful.
  • My cat, Benld.
  • My dog, Pork Chop. He lives in Minnesota.
  • The ability to be active. Sometimes my body aches, but at least it's because I'm moving!
  • Makeup. Heaven knows I look like a better "me" with a little concealer and a sweep of mascara.
  • The iPhone. And my iMac. i'M happy with them. 
  • Being busy. There was a weekend, last winter, when I had nothing planned. How weird is that?
  • Pandora radio. 
  • Making a list, and checking it twice.
  • Simple kindnesses.
  • A good night's sleep.
  • Four-day weekends.
  • Gratitude.