Of weddings and wonderment

I was talking with a friend of mine last night, and I told him that I thought the act of bringing a child into the world was perhaps the most hopeful thing a couple could do. It's saying, okay universe ... I trust you not to go completely to shit for at least another 100 years. 

That's a lot of hope, in my book. But I also have to admit, there's another possibility for the "most hopeful thing." 

Weddings.

For someone who had a rocky marriage, I still see marriage as a huge sign of hope. Hope from two individuals to each other. Hope that they will grow together. Hope that the Beatles were right, and love really is all you need.

Since That Guy and I split up, I've been privileged to witness the union of a whole slew of couples, and each time it's been a bit surreal. Most of them have been family weddings, but not the relative kind; weddings of people who have become like family to me. My Marine, Ryan, married his Erinn almost two years ago. That same summer, his stepbrother, my faux-bro Chunk, married his Erin. (That was the one at which Batman "mysteriously" arrived for the dollar dance.) It was quite a wedding-packed season. So much joy.

So much hope.

Last October, J.J. and Amber tied their knot, so that same family gathered once again to celebrate. Overflowing with wishes and chocolate chip cookies. 

And every time, I have cried. I have danced. I have stood shoulder-to-shoulder with people who are family in my soul, and I have promised support. But more than anything, I have felt hope.

Not hope that I will make that journey again. And it's not that I don't have hope ... it's more that it just isn't on my radar. No, my hope is for them. For these couples, and the many who came before them, I offer my most fervent hope that their lives be filled with joy, with happiness, and even a few really loud but really productive fights.

My ex and I didn't fight enough. I didn't stand up for myself enough, and that's why the woman I am today was so different from the woman who parted ways with That Man so many years ago. It's also why I believe down to my very core that human beings have unshakable power to change.

So as I ready myself to hit the road to celebrate Adam and Robyn in their hopeful future, I'll be making a few vows to myself. 

I, Maggie, take me, Maggie, to be my awfully wonderful self. To treat with love and respect, and to propel ever forward in the dance of life. To surround myself with people and experiences that bring me joy. To embrace all the different sources of love in my life. To surprise myself with what I am capable of. To basically kick ass, as long as I shall live, or until my bones are too brittle to risk motion.

With this vow, I me wed. ;)

Exhausted happy

I spent this weekend away from home, at my friend Linda's house in Schaumburg. It's the area I used to live in, about two towns away from my old place in Arlington Heights.

In a lot of ways, spending time up there - our plans arranged around classes at the gym - is like coming home. It's a treat to my soul, so it's worth feeling sore and tired when it's all over.

Looking back over the weekend, it's no wonder. Over three days, I managed to do yoga, followed by swimming. I got to 1,000 meters in about 35 minutes; that's a huge difference from the girl who learned to swim two years ago and could barely go 25 meters without stopping to catch her breath. I worked in spin class and weights, and capped it all off with an hour of salsa/funk (oh, my soul, we must sing like that again soon).

Then I had to come home. And bake. I'm not so great with the planning, yo.

But the thing is, from my vantage point this morning, it was a perfect weekend. Active. Filled with people who love me. (FYI, often times being around people who love you will result in hugging. This is a good thing.) Yes, I'm exhausted. From pushing myself to the limit at the gym to staying up way too late, it's easy for weekends like this to take a toll. But for what I got in return, I'd do it again in a heartbeat.

Which is a good thing, because I'm headed to St. Louis for a wedding this weekend!