I've been told that I love big. Instantly and fully, I love big. Where some love the normal amount, on a scale from 1 to 10, I love at 11.
Love is my superpower.
It isn't always easy, and sometimes it means I get hurt. Not romantic hurt, although I've had my share of that. But most of the time, it's the everyday real love that has the potential to punch a hole (heh heh ... "a-hole" ...) in my heart. And I think I've finally figured out how to deal.
I just need to remember that it isn't all about me.
I'm not a "classic" narcissist, but sometimes I allow things that have nothing to do with me effect me far too seriously. It's not just unnecessary; it's potentially dangerous. So I'm gonna do some work there.
I crave - and I think we all crave - love the way I do it. I want people to love me as I am, hugely. I want the same consideration I show others shown to me. The same thoughtfulness. And you know what? Sometimes I get it.
But a lot of the times, it's not on my terms. Not from the people I want, when I want it.
Love isn't like that. And the way people love me is about me, yes. But it's also about them.
I can either accept that, or I can be the walking wounded. I think I'll choose the former.
I can love instantly, fully and big. I can keep giving from my heart and soul; in fact, I'm not sure I could stop if I wanted to. And I can be grateful for those who return that love in kind. Those who don't ... I'm going to make it okay. Truth is, those who don't, probably can't. Not everybody is capable of love at this level. It's part of what makes me unique and awesome and gorgeous. Anybody who tells me otherwise is trying to sell me something.
And I ain't buyin'.