- Pumpkin pancakes. Even better when someone else makes them. Yes, the cook at iHop counts as "someone else."
- Trader Joe's Sea Salt Brownies. I promise this list won't only be food.
- All the people who call me their Aunt. There's only one blood nephew out there, but I'm Aunt Maggie, Margaret or Margot to a ton of kids (does Scoop count as a kid any more?) and I wouldn't have it any other way.
- Billy Joel's greatest hits.
- My ankles.
- My car. I sold it - it's time - but I'm going to miss it. I'll be driving my sister's Jeep for a few months and then buying new (used) wheels.
- Talented friends. Come to think of it, I don't think I have a single friend who isn't talented. That's pretty awesome.
- Yoga. It's new to me, or should I say re-new. I've just begun a solid practice, and I have a wonderful teacher who continually reminds me that yoga is something we're always moving in the direction of ... we never completely reach it, or there is no more practice. I like that. And I think it applies to everything in life.
- Apple cider. The real stuff. The kind you can't see through. Anything else is just juice.
- My bed. It's like a little nest for sleeping, complete with fat fuzzy cat.
- Poetry. I can't write it very well, but reading it puts me in a very happy place.
- Squishy babies.
- Office supplies.
- The new shampoo Shakespeare gave my in my festive birthday bag. My hair smells delicious!
- My gym. Even if they are replacing the tile with more tile that looks just like the old tile.
- Weddings. When they're good, they're awesome, and there's something about weddings and babies that just shouts optimism.
- Steak, medium rare.
- Harvest Moon Pumpkin Ale.
- You
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
A few of my favorite things
Interestingly enough, "The Sound of Music" is not one of my favorite things. These, however, make the list every time:
Monday, September 28, 2009
Bliss
Yesterday I did something I've never done before: I attended my first gay wedding. My darling friend John and his partner Stephen were taking the plunge, publicly, to dedicate their lives to one another. Shakespeare came as my guest (because why not have a girl as my date to my first gay wedding?) and may I say, the two of us were among the top five prettiest women in attendance. No lie.
We didn't know what to expect. Who would walk whom down the aisle? Would they be pronounced man and man? What side should we sit on?
It was different, and yet not. It was just two people vowing to support and encourage each other through whatever the future brings. The only difference was that neither one was wearing a dress. And thank God for that!
The ceremony was beautiful. John's sister Jodi sang, and the John and Stephen walked down the aisle together. The minister spoke of their longstanding relationship - they've been a couple for nine years - and what it means to marry when there are no legal benefits. It was an honor to observe these two gentlemen as they declared their intentions for their lives together.
In true stereotypical fashion, both John and Stephen looked dashing. Their tuxes did not match, but they did coordinate, John wearing a bit more color than Stephen ... how fitting. But the shoes ... I'm still amazed by Stephen's shoes. These fellas have style, for sure.
The reception ... my heavens. If you want a great meal and good music for dancing, be sure and have a gay man plan the day. Starters, salad, chicken and steak, cake to die for and a full sweets table with coffee. I'm still full. We danced the afternoon away (shamelessly pulling out steps from Salsa/Funk class) and revelled in our belief in true love.
Wait a second ... really? Do I really still believe? Has the sappy side taken over my cold, black and loveless heart?
I guess I have to say yes, because there are so many great examples of very real love in my life. There's Mike and Rae, who have perhaps the greatest partnership I've ever witnessed, and a true affection for each other that just doesn't quit. There's Cindy and Charlie, who so clearly demonstrate the possibilities life offers if we're wise enough to notice. There's Justin and Di and their house full of little ones, laughing every step of the way. There's Chris and Janie who have enough love to share with the world, Ken and Melis who laugh their way through life ... I can't even begin to remember everyone. There are more, many more, who prove that it does happen.
In my life? I'm not counting on it. But knowing it exists, even if just for those I love, is enough.
We didn't know what to expect. Who would walk whom down the aisle? Would they be pronounced man and man? What side should we sit on?
It was different, and yet not. It was just two people vowing to support and encourage each other through whatever the future brings. The only difference was that neither one was wearing a dress. And thank God for that!
The ceremony was beautiful. John's sister Jodi sang, and the John and Stephen walked down the aisle together. The minister spoke of their longstanding relationship - they've been a couple for nine years - and what it means to marry when there are no legal benefits. It was an honor to observe these two gentlemen as they declared their intentions for their lives together.
In true stereotypical fashion, both John and Stephen looked dashing. Their tuxes did not match, but they did coordinate, John wearing a bit more color than Stephen ... how fitting. But the shoes ... I'm still amazed by Stephen's shoes. These fellas have style, for sure.
The reception ... my heavens. If you want a great meal and good music for dancing, be sure and have a gay man plan the day. Starters, salad, chicken and steak, cake to die for and a full sweets table with coffee. I'm still full. We danced the afternoon away (shamelessly pulling out steps from Salsa/Funk class) and revelled in our belief in true love.
Wait a second ... really? Do I really still believe? Has the sappy side taken over my cold, black and loveless heart?
I guess I have to say yes, because there are so many great examples of very real love in my life. There's Mike and Rae, who have perhaps the greatest partnership I've ever witnessed, and a true affection for each other that just doesn't quit. There's Cindy and Charlie, who so clearly demonstrate the possibilities life offers if we're wise enough to notice. There's Justin and Di and their house full of little ones, laughing every step of the way. There's Chris and Janie who have enough love to share with the world, Ken and Melis who laugh their way through life ... I can't even begin to remember everyone. There are more, many more, who prove that it does happen.
In my life? I'm not counting on it. But knowing it exists, even if just for those I love, is enough.
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Time out!
I was a child before the days of "time out." In kindergarten, we had the naughty box, which was really just a little stool in the coat closet. No, I never had to sit there. And I've never been given a time out.
But sometimes, I think it's okay to give ourselves one. Not because we're misbehaving, but because we just need to unhook. I spend so much of my day tuned in to something other than myself. It can be my work, the computer, the people I'm around, the chores that need to be done ... the list goes on and on, and sometimes, we deserve a break.
Last Friday I took the day off, not meaning to unhook, but because I had a really tough chore that needed to get finished. It was my Meeting of Creditors, the final step required of me before the bankruptcy is done. The meeting was not traumatic; none of my creditors attended, probably due to the obvious lack of funds in my possession with which to pay them. It was just a series of questions regarding the case, all with yes or no answers. No, I am not currently married. Yes, I once was. No, I have not recently (or any other time) received an inheritance. Yes, my budget remains as it was in the original documents. Stuff like that; pretty simple, really. But when it was over, it was pretty emotional. I needed to have a bit of a cry, so I walked to Millennium Park.
I can't explain what it is about this place that makes me feel so completely at home. A beautiful garden, in the middle of a beautiful city ... it's breathtaking. So I went and sat with my feet in the water (sorry, Bex) and just let all the stress wash away. I sat, read my book and relaxed for hours. Long enough to get a little sunburn on my shoulders.
After awhile my friend Shakespeare and her boyfriend joined me, and the three of us sat and talked and soaked our feet. And it struck me, just how meaningful my time out was. I gave myself permission to feel all of it ... and then let it go. Isn't that what giving a child a time out is all about? Sit there, think about it, and move on. Don't pretend it never happened, but learn from it. Time out can be a good thing.
Within 60 to 90 days, I should receive word that the bankruptcy is final and my included debts have been discharged. Meanwhile, I'll be sticking to my budget, learning when I fail and consistently looking for ways to be wiser with my money. And along the way, I'm pretty sure I'll be giving myself a few time outs.
But sometimes, I think it's okay to give ourselves one. Not because we're misbehaving, but because we just need to unhook. I spend so much of my day tuned in to something other than myself. It can be my work, the computer, the people I'm around, the chores that need to be done ... the list goes on and on, and sometimes, we deserve a break.
Last Friday I took the day off, not meaning to unhook, but because I had a really tough chore that needed to get finished. It was my Meeting of Creditors, the final step required of me before the bankruptcy is done. The meeting was not traumatic; none of my creditors attended, probably due to the obvious lack of funds in my possession with which to pay them. It was just a series of questions regarding the case, all with yes or no answers. No, I am not currently married. Yes, I once was. No, I have not recently (or any other time) received an inheritance. Yes, my budget remains as it was in the original documents. Stuff like that; pretty simple, really. But when it was over, it was pretty emotional. I needed to have a bit of a cry, so I walked to Millennium Park.
I can't explain what it is about this place that makes me feel so completely at home. A beautiful garden, in the middle of a beautiful city ... it's breathtaking. So I went and sat with my feet in the water (sorry, Bex) and just let all the stress wash away. I sat, read my book and relaxed for hours. Long enough to get a little sunburn on my shoulders.
After awhile my friend Shakespeare and her boyfriend joined me, and the three of us sat and talked and soaked our feet. And it struck me, just how meaningful my time out was. I gave myself permission to feel all of it ... and then let it go. Isn't that what giving a child a time out is all about? Sit there, think about it, and move on. Don't pretend it never happened, but learn from it. Time out can be a good thing.
Within 60 to 90 days, I should receive word that the bankruptcy is final and my included debts have been discharged. Meanwhile, I'll be sticking to my budget, learning when I fail and consistently looking for ways to be wiser with my money. And along the way, I'm pretty sure I'll be giving myself a few time outs.
Friday, September 11, 2009
Eight years
So much has happened in the last eight years. I lost my mom (to cancer, not because her homing device stopped working,) re-started my career not once but twice, got myself a shiny divorce, moved into a place that truly feels like home, made new friends, lost 70 pounds, learned to love Indian food, re-connected with old friends, became an aunt more times than I can honestly count, watched friends bury loved ones, said goodbye to a beloved dog and a somewhat beloved cat.
All of those are vivid memories, but none as vivid as the morning of 9/11.
It was my first day back at work after the honeymoon. I was filled with joy after spending a week and a half surrounded by love ... and then the news reports started coming in. "A plane hit the World Trade Center," my boss said, and I laughed. I had this picture in my head of a little Cessna, pilot error and foolish New York tourists. I was wrong.
The reports kept coming. Another plane struck another tower. The Pentagon was hit. And a fourth plane crashed in a Pennsylvania field. No one got any more work done that day. We could do nothing but watch and pray.
I called Patrick, who tried to reach Victor, our only New York connection, to make sure he was okay. It took us about a week to get word. And the pictures kept coming, the video kept rolling ... destruction at the hands of lunatics.
My mother remembered Pearl Harbor, and could describe the moment news reached the Midwest with such crystal clarity, you'd think it happened yesterday. I think it will be that way with 9/11 for me. When Michael Jackson died, some crackpot news announcer called it a "tragedy." And I thought, no, you tool, the death of one man by his own stupidity is not a tragedy. 9/11 was a tragedy. Hurricane Katrina was a tragedy. The 2008 Indian Ocean tsunami was a tragedy. These are events that touch us all, change us in one way or another.
And if nothing else, they serve as a reminder that you never really know. You can plan all day long for what your future will be, but none of us is guaranteed to live it. And so today, as I remember, I also look forward to spending time with the people I love. At the gym tomorrow, I will hug my friends. At my dad's house on Sunday, I will hug my family. Back home Sunday night, I will welcome my new temporary roomie and relish her company. Because life is short, love is amazing, and people have an uncanny way of making my life awesome.
All of those are vivid memories, but none as vivid as the morning of 9/11.
It was my first day back at work after the honeymoon. I was filled with joy after spending a week and a half surrounded by love ... and then the news reports started coming in. "A plane hit the World Trade Center," my boss said, and I laughed. I had this picture in my head of a little Cessna, pilot error and foolish New York tourists. I was wrong.
The reports kept coming. Another plane struck another tower. The Pentagon was hit. And a fourth plane crashed in a Pennsylvania field. No one got any more work done that day. We could do nothing but watch and pray.
I called Patrick, who tried to reach Victor, our only New York connection, to make sure he was okay. It took us about a week to get word. And the pictures kept coming, the video kept rolling ... destruction at the hands of lunatics.
My mother remembered Pearl Harbor, and could describe the moment news reached the Midwest with such crystal clarity, you'd think it happened yesterday. I think it will be that way with 9/11 for me. When Michael Jackson died, some crackpot news announcer called it a "tragedy." And I thought, no, you tool, the death of one man by his own stupidity is not a tragedy. 9/11 was a tragedy. Hurricane Katrina was a tragedy. The 2008 Indian Ocean tsunami was a tragedy. These are events that touch us all, change us in one way or another.
And if nothing else, they serve as a reminder that you never really know. You can plan all day long for what your future will be, but none of us is guaranteed to live it. And so today, as I remember, I also look forward to spending time with the people I love. At the gym tomorrow, I will hug my friends. At my dad's house on Sunday, I will hug my family. Back home Sunday night, I will welcome my new temporary roomie and relish her company. Because life is short, love is amazing, and people have an uncanny way of making my life awesome.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Post birthday post
By now, we're well into September, which everyone knows is also My Birthday Month. The actual birthday was last Saturday, but one day simply isn't enough. I require an entire month to celebrate.
Kicking of the Birthday Month with Labor Day weekend is generally perfect, and this year was no exception. We were allowed to leave work a little early on Friday, so rather than wait for my train I drove up to Lake Geneva, and it was grand! Amber and I went to our favorite dive bar on Friday for karaoke, and it was a small, wonderful gathering. I think everyone in the rotation was a friend! There was a lot of love and a little beer, and by the end of the night we were all tired and content.
Saturday morning, I woke up hungry. Somehow, cereal tastes better at Amber's house. She was such a good sport, never once telling me to shut the hell up when I raised my hands above my head and shouted "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!" We spent it lounging out by the pool, with Tim (the handsomest poolboy ever) and Laura, when she finally got moving. Pizza for lunch (Amber really knows how to order!) rounded out the perfect afternoon. Eventually Tim had to leave us to go to work, and Amber had to go out to dinner with someone who wasn't me, but Laura stayed and we enjoyed my favorite meal: grilled cheese and tomato bisque. So delicious!
We watched two movies - The Secret Life of Bees (wonderful) and Keeping Mum (freaking AWESOME). You should see them. By the time our movies were over I was tired, so Laura hit the road and I hit the hay, even though I had an invitation to bar hop a bit with Tim after he got done with work. You know I'm tired when I turn down the opportunity to have a drink with a cute boy!
Sunday would have been very romantic, had it not been just me and Amber. We went to Pop More Corks for a wine tasting (I bought a bottle of a lovely Rioja) and then ate our way through the gourmet shop. We bought some bread and then sat in the park noshing, watching the water, reading and relaxing. Up until Tim called and invited us to come for coffee. Mmmm, coffee.
That night, the three of us met up with Tom at the Walworth County Fair. If it was fried, we ate it. I'm still not recovered, but it was delicious. We listened to Styx until we got tired of them playing just a few of their hits, and then it was back for more fried food.
By the time Monday rolled around, I was ready to head home. Even though Dale had promised delicious seafood, I got in the car and pointed it toward Arlington Heights. It was good to be home, to sleep in my own bed and be with my extremely demanding cat. As for the rest of the month, there will be trips to Millennium Park, dinner with Patrick, a day with my dad, my first gay wedding (yeah, John & Steven!) and will have my official Meeting of Creditors to finalize my bankruptcy. It's a big month - a month of celebrations and important stuff. And if you haven't discovered it yet, this month a few friends of mine and I launched chooseawesome.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to the global spread of Awesome and Choices. Pardon my shameless plug, but we think it's Awesome. Check it out!
So that's it, the recap of my Birthday Weekend and the stuff that's shakin' in my world. Now if only Becky would update her blog ...
Kicking of the Birthday Month with Labor Day weekend is generally perfect, and this year was no exception. We were allowed to leave work a little early on Friday, so rather than wait for my train I drove up to Lake Geneva, and it was grand! Amber and I went to our favorite dive bar on Friday for karaoke, and it was a small, wonderful gathering. I think everyone in the rotation was a friend! There was a lot of love and a little beer, and by the end of the night we were all tired and content.
Saturday morning, I woke up hungry. Somehow, cereal tastes better at Amber's house. She was such a good sport, never once telling me to shut the hell up when I raised my hands above my head and shouted "IT'S MY BIRTHDAY!!!" We spent it lounging out by the pool, with Tim (the handsomest poolboy ever) and Laura, when she finally got moving. Pizza for lunch (Amber really knows how to order!) rounded out the perfect afternoon. Eventually Tim had to leave us to go to work, and Amber had to go out to dinner with someone who wasn't me, but Laura stayed and we enjoyed my favorite meal: grilled cheese and tomato bisque. So delicious!
We watched two movies - The Secret Life of Bees (wonderful) and Keeping Mum (freaking AWESOME). You should see them. By the time our movies were over I was tired, so Laura hit the road and I hit the hay, even though I had an invitation to bar hop a bit with Tim after he got done with work. You know I'm tired when I turn down the opportunity to have a drink with a cute boy!
Sunday would have been very romantic, had it not been just me and Amber. We went to Pop More Corks for a wine tasting (I bought a bottle of a lovely Rioja) and then ate our way through the gourmet shop. We bought some bread and then sat in the park noshing, watching the water, reading and relaxing. Up until Tim called and invited us to come for coffee. Mmmm, coffee.
That night, the three of us met up with Tom at the Walworth County Fair. If it was fried, we ate it. I'm still not recovered, but it was delicious. We listened to Styx until we got tired of them playing just a few of their hits, and then it was back for more fried food.
By the time Monday rolled around, I was ready to head home. Even though Dale had promised delicious seafood, I got in the car and pointed it toward Arlington Heights. It was good to be home, to sleep in my own bed and be with my extremely demanding cat. As for the rest of the month, there will be trips to Millennium Park, dinner with Patrick, a day with my dad, my first gay wedding (yeah, John & Steven!) and will have my official Meeting of Creditors to finalize my bankruptcy. It's a big month - a month of celebrations and important stuff. And if you haven't discovered it yet, this month a few friends of mine and I launched chooseawesome.org, a non-profit organization dedicated to the global spread of Awesome and Choices. Pardon my shameless plug, but we think it's Awesome. Check it out!
So that's it, the recap of my Birthday Weekend and the stuff that's shakin' in my world. Now if only Becky would update her blog ...
Friday, September 4, 2009
Reflection
I do believe I've officially reached middle age; tomorrow I'll turn 43. The gray hair is becoming more prominent, and I'm using anti-aging moisturizers. I am not as young as I once was, but I don't think I'd go back.
The past year has presented some unique challenges, and with the support of my family and friends, I've faced them, head on. Still, it's impossible to look at the past year without taking a moment or two for reflection.
During year 42, old friends found me again. Through the magic of Facebook, Eric, Kathleen and Tony are back in my life, offering reminders of the Maggie that Was, and showing me all too plainly that she's not that different from the Maggie that Is. I absolutely adore you guys, and I am grateful for your ceaseless love, humor and inspiration.
During year 42, I was part of two special celebrations with the Carlson Rice family - Christmas and Ryan's commissioning into the United States Marine Corps. Being included and loved by this family is such a privilege. I hope you dole out extra Maggie hugs to each other this weekend!
During year 42, I've watched my sister battle Leukemia while simultaneously running a home, working full time and helping to take care of our brother. Refusing to give even one strand of her hair over the chemo, the woman keeps going. She has amazed her doctor, as she has amazed me. If anyone can kick cancer's ass, it's my sister Jenn.
During year 42, I hosted one of my favorite families during their vacation. Janie, Chris and Liam Early spent several days at the Bieritz B&B last June, and it stuns me how my little apartment seems to expand to fit loved ones. They left a little love behind, and a couple pads of paper, and helped my place feel even more like home.
During year 42, my dad turned 80. Moreover, I started really talking with my dad. The brutal honesty that comes from finally accepting that this man is really going to love me, no matter what, opens doors I didn't even know were closed. My life is full of wise and wonderful people, but this man is the finest of them all.
During year 42, I started writing again. There's no novel - yet - but I spend a decent amount of time with pen to paper, and one of these days something will be finished. Stick around and I'll let you read it!
During year 42, lots of stuff happened. I can't possibly include all of it here; besides, it would take a year to get through it all. But suffice it to say that during year 42, I learned a lot. There were tears, and there was an abundance of laughter. There was a beautiful balance of fear and anticipation, joy and sadness.
So what's gonna happen during year 43? I have no clue, but if I've learned anything over the years, it's that the unknown can be a whole lot of fun. So, here goes; care to join me?
The past year has presented some unique challenges, and with the support of my family and friends, I've faced them, head on. Still, it's impossible to look at the past year without taking a moment or two for reflection.
During year 42, old friends found me again. Through the magic of Facebook, Eric, Kathleen and Tony are back in my life, offering reminders of the Maggie that Was, and showing me all too plainly that she's not that different from the Maggie that Is. I absolutely adore you guys, and I am grateful for your ceaseless love, humor and inspiration.
During year 42, I was part of two special celebrations with the Carlson Rice family - Christmas and Ryan's commissioning into the United States Marine Corps. Being included and loved by this family is such a privilege. I hope you dole out extra Maggie hugs to each other this weekend!
During year 42, I've watched my sister battle Leukemia while simultaneously running a home, working full time and helping to take care of our brother. Refusing to give even one strand of her hair over the chemo, the woman keeps going. She has amazed her doctor, as she has amazed me. If anyone can kick cancer's ass, it's my sister Jenn.
During year 42, I hosted one of my favorite families during their vacation. Janie, Chris and Liam Early spent several days at the Bieritz B&B last June, and it stuns me how my little apartment seems to expand to fit loved ones. They left a little love behind, and a couple pads of paper, and helped my place feel even more like home.
During year 42, my dad turned 80. Moreover, I started really talking with my dad. The brutal honesty that comes from finally accepting that this man is really going to love me, no matter what, opens doors I didn't even know were closed. My life is full of wise and wonderful people, but this man is the finest of them all.
During year 42, I started writing again. There's no novel - yet - but I spend a decent amount of time with pen to paper, and one of these days something will be finished. Stick around and I'll let you read it!
During year 42, I stood by while friends grieved over the loss of a parent. It changes you, and I think in a way only someone who has been there can truly comprehend how it feels. I hope I was able to offer a shoulder and an ear to help them through the dark times.
During year 42, lots of stuff happened. I can't possibly include all of it here; besides, it would take a year to get through it all. But suffice it to say that during year 42, I learned a lot. There were tears, and there was an abundance of laughter. There was a beautiful balance of fear and anticipation, joy and sadness.
So what's gonna happen during year 43? I have no clue, but if I've learned anything over the years, it's that the unknown can be a whole lot of fun. So, here goes; care to join me?
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