Saturday, June 25, 2011

Five years

It was five years ago-ish ... the fateful day when my then-husband and his latest woman (now his latest wife) packed up his stuff and he moved on.

Well, good riddance to bad rubbish, my dear. And the rubbish, as it turned out, was both him and his crap. Sweet Jesus, that boy had horrible taste in just about everything, save for his first two wives.

It was a horribly difficult day, made tolerable by a dear friend who picked me up in his soft-top Jeep Wrangler, and drove me all over the Chicago area. All. Day. Long. Top down, tunes cranked. When the top's down, tears dry quickly. We drove for hours. That friend was Brian Shamie, or Cute Brian, as I call him, and he saved my life that day. Though we've since grown apart, I will never forget what he gave me - smiles and happiness on what was easily one of my top five crappiest days ever.

Five years. Sometimes, it seems like yesterday. Sometimes, if seems like the marriage never happened at all ... like it was just some crazy daydream, never part of reality.

But it did happen, I was once married to someone who took advantage of my every kindness and jumped ship as soon as things got really tough. It left me scarred and strong, and with an uncanny ability to open myself up to receive what he was unable to give me: unconditional love. It has come to me from the most unlikely of sources, and from people I never would have met if we had stayed together.

This blog was born out of a need to vent, to let out the emotion of being discarded like yesterdays newspaper. It's a testament to the healing that has happened over the past five years, and what I find most ironic is this: almost every post is one of great joy. This isn't my public-facing pity pot, it's the story of Becoming Maggie ... the real, whole, honest person I've always been, but needed a little nudge to return to.

Which leads me to wonder, what will the next five years bring? Stay tuned. Much is likely to change, but my need to write about it? Yeah, that's a constant.

Thanks for coming along for the ride thus far.


Cherylyn Gnadt Bredemann said...

Maggie -
never really "heard" your story. Thank you for sharing it so eloquently. It gives me a great deal of hope for some dark days ahead for me. Sometimes, I feel like I'm being set free. And some days I want to hold on, to plead for the end not to come. But this post, and your life in general, is inspiring. Thank you for your gifts to the world. Your happy thoughts, your humor and your wonderful smile. xox

Maggie said...

C-Lyn ...

You met me when I was only just beginning to come into the light, after a dark, frightening period. It's a journey I did not want to take, but was so necessary for my healing.

I started keeping a blog about a year after my life began to unravel. Looking back now, it's hard to even recognize the empty shell I once was. And yet, there's the proof, in black and white.

My story is not so different from so many others. We have the power to make it through to the other side, with strength we never imagined possible. You have it, too.

Here for you in any way I can be; find me any time you need.