Ten on Tuesday

1. It's late, but if I write quickly, I may publish this one under the wire on Tuesday!
2. Had dinner with an old friend tonight, whom I haven't seen in an entire high school graduate. (That's 17 years, for those of you playing the at-home version.) Over margaritas and various tortilla laden goodies, Eric and I caught each other up on everything from his adventure in New Mexico, his lovely wife and his work to my adventure in college and my seemingly endless supply of brothers who aren't really brothers. I came away from dinner once again reassured that I make more sense to myself when I spend time with people who loved me before I became who I am today, and love me today because of who I was back then.
3. The cold has become just a nasty, pain-in-the-neck cough from hell. Soup helps, thank God.
4. My mother-in-law had heart surgery today. She called while I was at dinner to say she's resting and working on healing. I'll be helping with that over the weekend; we're having a two-night slumber party. What could be better for the heart?
5. After I fell down the stairs last week tripping over the cuff of my pants because my pants were falling off of me, I decided it was time to clean house. Which left me with one pair of pants. Which led me to buy a few pairs. I went to Old Navy, where I haven't been able to shop (except for the few stores that have big girl sizes) in about seven years. It felt good to buy pants that were three sizes smaller than the ones I donated to Goodwill. Have you seen my butt lately?
6. Tomorrow after work (we get sprung early!) I am going to my dad's for the traditional Chinese pre-Thanksgiving dinner. I'm staying over so I can wake up there on Thanksgiving and watch the Macy's Parade with my brother and sister. Just like old times, only I'll be grown up enough to slip a little Bailey's in my coffee.
7. One month until Christmas!
8. Was it four years ago that Chris and I spent Thanksgiving in Tucson? That is one of my favorite memories - eating turkey outside, meeting Mike and Rae's friends, making new memories. Part of my heart is with you, celebrating Thanksgiving and Kaylee's birthday. Sometimes geography really bites, keeping me away from those I love at all corners of the world (or more specifically the Pacific Northwest, the Southwest and ... well, India. Curried turkey, anyone?)
9. I had a fantastic workout last night, and while I really missed Shakespeare and John, it was wonderful to be back after what seemed like a never-ending illness. I probably worked too hard, but it felt damn good to get the body moving again.
10. If you are reading this, there is a high degree of likelihood that I am grateful for you. For being my friend, for choosing me as part of your family, for loving me at my least lovable, for standing up with me and for me, for bolstering me when I am down, for providing me with angels to guide my path, for accepting me as I am, for offering to bump off those who hurt me ... because of those reasons and a myriad for which I cannot find words, I understand what Thanksgiving means.
    
11. I did it! It's not quite midnight!
    

Food, love

We're closing in on the holiday season, a time that often seems to be as much about food and family as it is about the holidays themselves.

Like music, food taps into my memories so much more than memories alone. Dad's pie crusts, which my sister Pat has now perfected; Toots' luscious dessert; Jenn's pecan pie; Dad's stuffing; Bernie's mashed potatoes ... all necessary flavors for the perfect Thanksgiving dinner. Like I said, it's as much about the food as it is being thankful. And I don't think it's an accident that so much of my memories are tied to dessert!

Well, anyway, I haven't felt much like eating over the past week, because I've pretty much felt like crap on a stick. So today, when I woke up hungry, I took that as a good sign. And I went to the grocery store and purchased ingredients for two food memories: bread and soup.

The only argument my ex and I ever had in front of my family was about bread flour. I don't even remember what the argument was about any more, but bring up bread flour in my presence and I will still laugh about it. It was funny even at the time, this insane bread argument. So when I got out the bread machine today to make potato cheddar bread (because Christopher loved potato bread but he's lactose intolerant, so this is pretty much a happy loaf of "screw you") I couldn't stop smiling. It's a good memory of happy times, even though it started with an argument. And now it's baking, and it smells divine. (Addition at 10:30 p.m. - it is good!)

The soup? Well, when my mom was sick, she didn't hunger for much. Bernie (my sister Jenn's husband) used to make her cherry cobbler when she craved it, and I would make her chicken soup, the old fashioned way. I never buy whole chickens unless it's to make soup, and I haven't made soup since Mom died. So tonight, as I chopped the vegetables and cooked the chicken and my kitchen filled with aromatic memories, a few tears landed in the water ... and hey, what's a little more salt?We are nothing if not the sum of our experiences, both the good and the bad. And though Christopher chose to leave and Mom had to answer a higher calling, the food and the love remain.

Ten on Whenever I Get Around To It

1. Okay, I'm over having a good time with the illness. It's been four days; I'm done now. Please send a cure.
2. Someone I know saw my ex and the woman who is now with my ex not too long ago and thought to herself, "Who is that man with Christopher?" At least I wake up every day next to an astonishingly handsome male, even if it is a cat.
3. No jury in the world would convict me for tossing a toaster in the pool after the woman who "edited" my writing last week. From beautiful narrative to bulleted list ... how I love corporate journalism.
4. I have an awesome new cellphone. Too bad it thinks I live in China. (James, maybe Camber could figure it out!) It was a gift from Shakespeare, who used to work for Motorola, and I swear it's the coolest phone outside the realm of iPod. I just have to try and have it configured to work in the U.S. I've felt like poop most of this week, so I haven't really tried, but when I do ... look out, world!
5. When I first moved out of my parents' house, I lived in this great apartment in downtown Oswego, in the attic of a house that just oozed charm. It was perfect, except it didn't have a bathtub. I'm a bathtub girl, see, and every now and then, I need a long damn soak. I loved that old apartment, but not as much as I love my bathtub.
6. Wouldn't it be cool if we could find a use for phlegm? Swear to God, if we could run a car off of the stuff, I could solve the energy crisis.
7. I got a phone call this morning. Actually, I got a voicemail this morning, because I missed the call. Turns out the evil stepmother isn't so evil after all. Cindy called to check on me. Somehow, knowing people care help me feel better. Like when my sister sends an e-mail, or Kelly calls on break at work, or a co-worker brings me a cup of tea. Sometimes when we feel our lowest is when people lift us up.
8. I love my sewing machine. Working on my Halloween costume was so much fun, and I think I'm actually getting comfortable with it. I may graduate to a project I actually want to use every day, and not just a costume. Janie would be so proud!
9. I want cookies. Is it feed a cold, starve a fever, or the other way around?
10. I miss my babies. I'm going to have to visit Alice after Team Bathje come home from Thanksgiving. Aunt Maggie has to have someone to squeeze!
    

*sniffle*

I woke up this morning with a sore throat. Needless to say, I am not feeling like my usually sparkling and delightful self ... but don't feel too bad for me.

Nah, I'm sitting in my somewhat clean apartment, drinking cinnamon tea laced with amaretto, toasty warm in my flannel jammies (no feet in them, but I'll survive) and thinking how much nicer it is to have a cold now than it was before.

Christopher didn't cope well with me when I was sick, so I sorta felt like I couldn't give in to it and just let it run its course. So now here I am, with a full box of Puffs and a stock of vitamins and cold medicines and cocoa mix and tea and booze and books and movies (I love my library!) and I'm perfectly content to feel better when it's time to feel better. For now, I'm just going to finish my tea and my movie, maybe take a little nap, and relish the ever-changing party we call life.

They named a wine after me

When I became part of the Rathunde family, which honestly happened long before I married my ex and will remain long after, I became known as "the Other." There was already one Margaret in the family, and that was Kevin and Chris' mom, the Original Margaret. So I became the Other, and after we were married, I was the Other Margaret Rathunde. It's a term of endearment, something that never fails to make me smile.

So imagine my gleeful surprise to realize a wine had been named after me! What's more, it's delicious. And, um, gone.

Ten on Tuesday

1. I burned 1,225 calories last night at the gym. I took hip-hop class and salsa/funk; both were fun. Not so coincidentally, John was in both classes with me. It was a great way to kick off the week.
2. I'm listening to Christmas music. I love the album "Christmas Offerings" by Third Day. It has some new twists on traditional carols; just beautiful. I know I'm early, but I really love the stuff. And I'd much rather to listen to mine than the local radio station that will play only holiday music from now-ish through Christmas, because I swear they only have 12 CDs that they just play on shuffle for about six weeks every year. At least on the iPod, there's variety. I've got everything from Bing to the Boss, Nat to the Nylons ... I may not repeat at all between now and December 25.
3. I am participating in National Novel Writing Month. We'll see how it goes; I'm supposed to write 50,000 words in November. Cute Brian encouraged me with a topic last weekend; it's based on a true story, but with a good deal of embellishment because it's fun. A lot of work, but I think I can do it.
4. Ever since we got back from our summer vacation in South Haven, the commercials for Michigan's travel and tourism board have been stalking me. I was so hopeful that they'd be done when the weather turned cold; not so. This morning, I woke up to a very well-spoken man telling me this: The temperatures cool down but the excitement and hospitality heat up. Experience the snow-covered landscape of a Michigan winter. When natural beauty, brilliant exhilaration and good times come together, the sensation is Pure Michigan. No, it wasn't a guy in my home, it was that damned announcer, making me miss my extended family all over again and wish we were all together again in a place that seemed magical until we realized that the magic wasn't Michigan; the magic was us.
5. Our office dress code policy was just re-done. They now allow corduroy. No other fabric was given special mention, so I have to assume velvet, cotton, linen and wool are not allowed. Better get myself some new corduroy!
6. With each week, I get closer to having a working budget. By the beginning of 2009, I hope to be able to say that I am not just following it, but it has become a habit. I look at it this way: If a former couch potato can transform into someone who loves the gym as much as I do, well, anything is possible!
7. There are only 11 get-ups until Thanksgiving. It's my very favorite holiday, and I am very excited to spend the day with the Bieritz clan. I have so many memories of Thanksgiving as a child ... going to Nana and Papa's for turkey and all the trimmings, sitting at the kids' table with the other kids, even when we were all teenagers, piling on Toots' bed and watching Chitty-Chitty Bang-Bang. This was my first exposure to family being more than just who you're related to. For us, Thanksgiving was spent with the neighbors. Nana and Papa lived next door to us when we were growing up, and they were as much of a staple in our lives as our Grandma and Grandpa who lived a block away. Toots (Annette, from whom I got my middle name), Spike (Eugene), and Dave (who somehow never got a nickname) were their kids, and they were our people for as long as I can remember. Time has altered the group, with Nana, Papa and Toots now gone (and probably enjoying turkey with Mom,) but Thanksgiving will always be our holiday in my heart. This year, Kathie and Alex will be in Disney World, so it will just be Dad, Mike, Pat, Jenn, Bernie and me, and that's allright. More stuffing for me!
8. I could really use a massage. Years ago, my sister Jenn was studying to be a certified massage therapist, and my other sisters and I got to be her guinea pigs. I miss that. Massage is expensive, and I am poor. There is no middle ground.
9. Can a 42-year-old woman use the word "werd"? Can she also refer to friends 10+ years younger as "dude"? Or does that just make me the creepy old lady who maybe needs a couple more cats?
10. I started logging my calories and workouts on Spark again. If you have any interest in becoming more healthy and fit, I would highly recommend the site. It's free, thorough, free, helpful, free and motivational. Did I mention that it's free? I love it; it has helped me lose about 40 pounds so far, on the way to many more.

Ten from Tuesday on Friday

1. On Tuesday, November 4, when I should have posted this entry, I was busy feeling stuff. I have not felt as moved and excited about the possibilities of our country since 1992. Yes, I realize that I am aging myself as I write, but when I cast my vote for Bill Clinton in his first bid for the White House, I felt like I was voting for my future. In 2008, I feel like I voted for my future, and that of so many others. Hope is indeed a precious commodity, and one worth striving for.
2. Having voted early, I spent election day working and occasionally checking out election results. That night, I hopped on the Metra with my friend Shakespeare and joined the crowd in Grant Park in Chicago. History unfolded before my eyes. It was magical, spiritual and hopeful, all at the same time.
3. My family thinks I was either adopted or switched at birth. With the exception of yours truly, I come from a long line of rather conservative folks. They blame my education at a liberal institution of higher learning, but if you remember back a bit further (do you remember, Stu?) I've always been much more left-leaning than them. The real difference, though, is I respect their position even while I don't understand it. They, on the other hand, can't seem to do the same. I find this to be a uniquely Republican trait, and anxiously await evidence to the contrary.
4. Speaking of my family, we have agreed not to exchange gifts this Christmas. In my Happy Place, I am trying to believe this has more to do with the global economy than with everyone's knowledge of the fact that I am a complete financial bubblehead, and Christmas shopping only serves to create an even-less-sunny financial picture for yours truly.
5. At the gym earlier this week, I borrowed Shakespeare's shampoo and conditioner. You should smell my head! I just want to hang out and sniff myself.
6. I received a lot of amazing traits from my mother. My hair, my smile and my willingness to strike up a conversation with a complete stranger can all be traced back to Patricia Weston Bieritz. But of all the things I could receive from her, the one thing I didn't want was her gallbladder. Alas, I did not get to choose. Overnight on Wednesday, I experienced pain the likes of which I have never experienced. All I wanted to do was sleep, but all I could do was lie there and feel like I was going to die. As the minutes turned to hours, I tried to distract myself, tried to get comfortable, tried to will myself well. Nothing worked. So until further notice, the girl is on a very low-fat diet in an attempt to not go there ever again. I wouldn't wish that pain on anyone, least of all me.
7. I've started my holiday knitting. If you're getting a Christmas gift from me, there is a high degree of likelihood it will be knitted, or jewelry. Although my sister Jenn wants an afghan, and that might take up all my time between now and December 25. Sorry, everyone else.
8. I am having breakfast with Cute Brian either Saturday or Sunday. I haven't hung out with him in awhile, and I'm really looking forward to it. Wonder what tastes good for breakfast and still fits in the "Don't wanna hurt from the gallbladder" diet.
9. I really dig Facebook. It has become a place where my past and my present converge, and it's been amazing to catch up with people from college, my old theater days, and today. This week, I reconnected with my editor from the college newspaper and a few other "Newsers" ... it's gratifying to see who they've become, and that we are all still essentially the same rockin' cool people we were back then, only now we're a little bit older and a lot more responsible. For the most part.
10. It's November. On my drive to work this morning, I stuck more to the side streets, and thoroughly enjoyed the journey. Leaves have fallen in Arlington Heights, and everything is awash in the warm hues of autumn. I realize this season will soon give way to freezing temperatures and snow (maybe even as soon as Sunday!) but for now, I'm going to enjoy the moment.

History in the Making

There are so many thoughts and feelings, it's hard to put it into words. But I'll try.

Anticipation. Riding the choo into Ogilvie station, the feeling already started to build. A train full of people, eagerly awaiting what we hoped would be the announcement we were waiting for.

Overwhelmed. Arriving at Grant Park, you just could not believe the people. Everywhere you looked, wall to wall people, standing together in hope. Black, white, rich, poor, straight, gay, young, old ... none of that mattered. We were more than just a group of individuals. In those moments as we gathered, we represented for one another the very best we expect from our country.
Support. Friends stood with friends, strangers became acquainted, hugs, smiles and stories were shared. My dear friend Jessica (or Shakespeare, as I like to call her) and I danced to the music, cheered with the crowd as results began to come in, and soaked up the atmosphere.

Excitement, for each other and for all. One way or another, however this election turned out, America was going to be different. At one point in the evening, Jessica looked at me and said, "We're gonna have a new President, and I hope it's a black one!" I think she spoke for all of us in that moment.

Joy. Before we could really get our bearings, the announcement came. All eyes were glued to CNN's coverage on the jumbotron and we heard the news - Barack Obama has won the presidency. The cheers were deafening. The joy palpable. Our hope had become a reality. And as we began to settle down, it was almost as if no one knew quite what to do. I have never seen a celebration quite like it.

Then, this image caught my eye. A little girl, perched atop her father's shoulders, waving an American flag. This, I thought to myself, this is why we're here. This child, witnessing history happening around her, brought my thoughts to the children in my life, and how hopeful I am for their future.

Peace. It was tough to get a signal on my phone, but the one call that did come through was from Ryan, and I could hear the joy in his voice as we celebrated from Chicago to Champaign. And it started to wash over me ... my Marine, my brother, my friend will have a new Commander in Chief. While this cannot guarantee his safety, and I will always hope that he will somehow end up in a wacky branch of the Marine Corps that cuddles bunnies instead of tanks, I am at peace in the knowledge that he and every member of our armed forces will soon be led by a man whose agenda is not self-serving. I have a renewed hope for the men and women who truly put Country First.

Disbelief. Hundreds of thousands of people, and not a single fight broke out.

Pride. Hundreds of thousands of people stood and listened to a prayer to begin the festivities. We stood with hands over our hearts and recited the Pledge of Allegience. We sang our National Anthem. We eagerly waited for the next President of the United States to take the stage.

When President-Elect Barack Obama took to the podium, it was to the resounding chant of "Yes We Can." I looked around at people smiling, crying (yeah, that was me,) hugging friends, calling family, and hearing the very first public address from our next President. Oh, yes, we can. Sometimes we have to wait, sometimes the wait is difficult, but yes, indeed, we can.

Tired. We'd been standing for hours! Following Obama's speech, the music began to play, and the people began to disperse. What a happy bunch of tired and thrilled people! We sang along to Bruce Springsteen, we held hands and cried a little more, we marvelled at having just seen our future unfold before our very eyes. We stopped to take a picture of a couple on the very edge of the park. This was the gentleman's third election, he explained, as he had come here from India in search of a better life. He and his wife thanked us and wished us a good evening as if we were old friends. And then, we turned and headed for the street once again.

Community. The scene on Michigan Avenue was surreal. People as far as the eye could see, smiling, walking, making their way back to real life, stopping for a photograph with a Chicago police officer, stepping over poop from the police horsies, walking together chanting "Obama" and "Yes We Can." Looking up at one of the buildings, you could see they had illuminated the windows to showcase the letters U.S.A. Even the buildings were happy last night.

Even more tired. This morning, it was hard to shake myself awake. Four hours of sleep isn't nearly enough! But I'd do it again in a heartbeat. There is no way to accurately portray what it was like to be in Grant Park, to share in this experience. All I can really do is echo the words I heard last night.

“It’s been a long time coming, but tonight, because of what we did on this day, in this election, at this defining moment, change has come to America."