Tuesday, January 6, 2009

Ten on Tuesday

  1. Had my annual physical today. Needed a tetanus shot (OUCH!) and got a flu shot as long as I was there, and also had blood drawn for tests and stuff. I don't like needles. This did not make for a good morning. All things considered, though, it was a great meeting with my doctor. She's pleased with my weightloss and my general health. I'm pleased that I don't have to have another shot any time soon.
  2. Got caught in some freaky snow on the way to the doctor. I could see what I thought was fog in the distance, and then I was in it. Visibility of about zero, when the sky was clear just minutes before. Thankfully the doc understood my tardiness. Or maybe that's why I "needed" shots?
  3. It was a glorious un-Christmas in Jacksonville last week. I don't know what I can say that I haven't already tried to say and failed miserably because words simply don't suffice. I'll try to sum it up in the form of a recipe. Combine old friends, babies, butts, whiskey, Scrabble, gift wrap, Nerf, meatballs, tears, hugs, Target, turkey, yarn, bunk beds, good-night hugs, small-town tours, bowling, Skype, missing the people who weren't there, and blankets. Stir gently; savor.
  4. At my appointment this morning, my doctor asked how I got the bruise on my left shoulder. "Full-contact Scrabble," I replied. She looked at me quizzically. I just smiled and said, "We play rough."
  5. The Valentine's Day ads are already starting. It makes me want to kick the crap out of Hallmark and every marketing "genius" who thinks it's appropriate to cram romantic love up my nose every year as soon as the Christmas decorations come down. Hmm ... bitter much?
  6. I have created Incredible Disappearing Cookies. I brought to Jacksonville roughly four dozen Oatmeal Chip cookies and four dozen Snickerdoodles. There was one Snickerdoodle in the bin when I left on Sunday. This is the highest compliment a baker can receive.
  7. Facebook continues to amaze me. I crossed paths with an old theater friend/fellow community college student/all around swell guy, Kevin Trudo, out there a few weeks back. Kevin is a musician who recorded a song, "Aristotle," that we listened to until we wore out the tape back at EIU. But thanks to the marvels of modern technology, and because he's an awesome guy, we were able to download it and listen to it again after about nine years. It has a very 90s sound to it, but it makes me smile every time it comes up on the playlist. His new stuff isn't bad, either. It's fun to have such talented friends!
  8. Speaking of, Cute Brian made art for my kitchen. This is my second original Shamie design. I love it. It is so perfect, it made me cry. I haven't hung it yet - still recovering from five days away from home - but maybe this weekend. I will take a photo so you can see how awesome it is. I love my pink kitchen!
  9. After much deliberation, I came up with a few New Years resolutions. First, I'm going to spend at least one hour each week practicing yoga. I have horrible posture and my flexibility isn't getting any better, so lets reverse that trend, okay? Second, I will get at least three servings of calcium each day. According to the doctor, I'm at an age where my body will steal from my bones if I don't take in enough each day. Damn, it really is hell to get old. And finally, I will track my expenses - all of my expenses - for three months to get a better financial picture, and build a budget accordingly. These are relatively manageable goals, and I'm looking forward to achieving them!
  10. This is a deep one, so if you wanted the happy, light version of the blog, feel free to log off now. It's not really a resolution, it's more of a realization - I am having a world of difficulty accepting love. In my brain, it doesn't make sense that amazing and wonderful people love me when the one person who promised to always do so (hello, jackass?) failed miserably at it. To my mind, how can someone possibly choose to love me when I'm so obviously unlovable? So here's the thing: I'm just going to assume you are telling me the truth. I'm going to believe that you love me, that you want me around, until you tell me otherwise. The bad stuff is usually easier to believe, but I'm gonna believe the good stuff for once. You love me, dammit, and I can either think of all the reasons why I don't deserve it, or just take it all in and accept it with an open heart. The latter seems a much better option, don't you think?

7 comments:

Charlie and Cindy said...

Answer to #10. Yep!*!

janetta and allen said...

it was "jackass's'loss.cause we think you are very lovable.

Anonymous said...

I'm just curious why "jackass" gets a vote still.

I mean, seriously any man that choses a she-male over you is obviously dumb, deaf, blind, and well, a jackass.

He's the unlovable. He keeps searching and reaching for something that he can't find within himself and when he has it, he doesn't know what to do with it.

The "Ex-Mrs. Jackass" club should have been your first clue.

That you have so many people telling and showing you something different than he did should be your second.

Most importantly, when you look in the mirror, she should be the best clue ever.

You are the sum total of the people who love you.

If you don't believe me, then take a look at who calls you friend, sister, family, daughter, lover, dance partner...

maggie said...

Thanks, people. You make me cry and smile at the same time.

monkeyhouse said...

Full-contact Scrabble. HA!

Violet said...

You are absolutely the most lovable person I know. I decided after my divorce that I would no longer waste my time on those who were not lovable and did not know how to love in return. So if I went out of my way to find you- you are definitely lovable. :-)
And you don't have to see it. Just take our word for it. we know better!

Janie said...

Trust us. We know you are lovable.

Those of us who have "been there, done that" and have the scars to prove it would never waste time with someone who wasn't.