I went to the gym last night. I'm still not actually feeling well enough to be at the gym, but I figured a little sweat would do me good.
I smile when I'm at the gym. It's a little game I play. A lot of people just look so unhappy when they work out, so I smile at them and see if I can make them smile back. Sometimes, it works.
Tonight, I smiled at Nice Stride Boy. This guy who runs on the treadmill across from me has the most beautiful stride. It's like watching a gazelle. So I smiled at him. He smiled back. I also smiled at Frizzy Blonde Lady. She just looked at me like she thought I was retarded. Maybe I was singing along to the iPod?
Anyway, after my workout I stopped into the cafe to get a bottle of water from New Guy. As I was standing at the register, Jessica, the young lady who took me on my first tour of the gym back in September, stopped in to say hello. "I have to know," she asked, "are you always so postive?"
Now, anyone who knows me also knows that I am so not always postive. But it was very sweet to hear. I'm positive! Did you know that?
Wednesday, October 31, 2007
Tuesday, October 30, 2007
The sitcom of my life has a dream sequence
I come from a long line of basket cases and slobs. I got the basket case gene, but of all my siblings, I am the only one who did not get the slob gene. Except maybe Michael, and we'll never know for sure about that. My home tends to be pretty tidy even when I think it's a mess. That's just how I roll.
So imagine my surprise when my mother popped in for a visit last night and said, "Would you look at this place? It looks like I live here."
Which is funny, because my mom doesn't live anywhere anymore.
Could be Nyquil-induced dreams, could be insanity, but I talked to Mom last night.
The whole thing happened in my bedroom, right where I was sleeping. She sat on the corner of my bed for a little while and answered some of my unanswered questions.
"Mom, why did you give the other girls so much more than you gave me?" I asked.
"Because you're the one who doesn't need stuff," she said. "You've never been the materialistic one. I gave you my recipes, my robe and my wedding ring. Diamonds and pearls wouldn't make a difference in your life, but knowing how to make Butterscotch Chewy Cake will. You were always the one who worked behind the scenes, the one who never tooted her own horn. But you never needed sparkles to be noticed. You sparkled enough on your own."
Now it was time for some of the tough questions.
"Did you resent me because I was 'normal' and Mike wasn't?"
"Resent probably isn't the right word," she said. "But I was disappointed that I didn't have two perfectly healthy children for my last round of motherhood."
That felt truthful. That sounded like Mom.
"Was I a disappointment to you?"
"You disappointed me sometimes," she said. "All you girls did. But you weren't a disappointment."
In the dream, I believed her.
Then, as quickly as she arrived, she was gone. Whether I really got answers or just told my subconscious what I wanted to hear, I'll never know. No matter what, it was good to talk to her. For a dead lady, she looks pretty good.
So imagine my surprise when my mother popped in for a visit last night and said, "Would you look at this place? It looks like I live here."
Which is funny, because my mom doesn't live anywhere anymore.
Could be Nyquil-induced dreams, could be insanity, but I talked to Mom last night.
The whole thing happened in my bedroom, right where I was sleeping. She sat on the corner of my bed for a little while and answered some of my unanswered questions.
"Mom, why did you give the other girls so much more than you gave me?" I asked.
"Because you're the one who doesn't need stuff," she said. "You've never been the materialistic one. I gave you my recipes, my robe and my wedding ring. Diamonds and pearls wouldn't make a difference in your life, but knowing how to make Butterscotch Chewy Cake will. You were always the one who worked behind the scenes, the one who never tooted her own horn. But you never needed sparkles to be noticed. You sparkled enough on your own."
Now it was time for some of the tough questions.
"Did you resent me because I was 'normal' and Mike wasn't?"
"Resent probably isn't the right word," she said. "But I was disappointed that I didn't have two perfectly healthy children for my last round of motherhood."
That felt truthful. That sounded like Mom.
"Was I a disappointment to you?"
"You disappointed me sometimes," she said. "All you girls did. But you weren't a disappointment."
In the dream, I believed her.
Then, as quickly as she arrived, she was gone. Whether I really got answers or just told my subconscious what I wanted to hear, I'll never know. No matter what, it was good to talk to her. For a dead lady, she looks pretty good.
Monday, October 29, 2007
My weekend in the car
What a great weekend. Parties and performances, surrounded by friends. I lived the life of a rockstar, except a rockstar would have had a really cool tour bus and wouldn't have been alone on the trip from home to Wisconsin to Aurora to home to Wisconsin to Aurora to home. And a rockstar would have been able to sleep while some guy named Hank drove the swanky bus from town to town.
I don't think it was all the celebrations that got to me. I think it was the drive. And maybe the fever.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, turns out my near-fainting spell Saturday night had less to do with low blood sugar and more to do with illness. After the show last night, Arlene told me I was running a fever and I needed to get home. So I said my goodbyes and off I went. Once home, I took the longest bath in the history of the modern world, and slept through the night.
I'm achey, stuffy, feverish and tired today, but it will pass. And I'd do it all overy again. Just not right away.
I don't think it was all the celebrations that got to me. I think it was the drive. And maybe the fever.
Yes, ladies and gentlemen, turns out my near-fainting spell Saturday night had less to do with low blood sugar and more to do with illness. After the show last night, Arlene told me I was running a fever and I needed to get home. So I said my goodbyes and off I went. Once home, I took the longest bath in the history of the modern world, and slept through the night.
I'm achey, stuffy, feverish and tired today, but it will pass. And I'd do it all overy again. Just not right away.
Friday, October 26, 2007
The morning routine
Sharon at my work (I can't call her my friend at work because I don't make friends at work) asked me once why I don't wear makeup to work. Well, I do, and if I didn't, everyone would wonder who the blind girl is, because no one would be able to see my eyes. But anyhoo, the reason for my relatively natural-looking head is twofold. 1) I like sleep, and I'm not usually up early enough to do the full on Diva face. 2) Benld.
At the risk of sounding like the crazy old woman on the hill with 11 cats, I adore my furry roommates. But Benld is an attention hog. Seriously. He wants to be exactly where I am whenever I am home. If I'm on the couch, he's in my lap. If I'm in bed, he's on the extra pillow. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, he comes in and sits on the ledge of the tub, just out of reach of the water. No matter what I'm doing, he wants me to hold him.
Which makes it tough to put on makeup. To illustrate, here's a picture from this morning. That's Benld, perched on my shoulder, watching the world (or my towels) go by behind me. You can almost see the really cool tile in my bathroom (and the bags under my eyes from a rough week at work.) I tried to ignore him today (not the tile, Benld), and he proceeded to jump up onto the sink, stand on his hind legs and basically crawl up on me until he was in this position. All that while I was trying to put on mascara. It's a wonder I haven't been blinded by his acrobatics.
At the risk of sounding like the crazy old woman on the hill with 11 cats, I adore my furry roommates. But Benld is an attention hog. Seriously. He wants to be exactly where I am whenever I am home. If I'm on the couch, he's in my lap. If I'm in bed, he's on the extra pillow. Sometimes when I'm in the shower, he comes in and sits on the ledge of the tub, just out of reach of the water. No matter what I'm doing, he wants me to hold him.
Which makes it tough to put on makeup. To illustrate, here's a picture from this morning. That's Benld, perched on my shoulder, watching the world (or my towels) go by behind me. You can almost see the really cool tile in my bathroom (and the bags under my eyes from a rough week at work.) I tried to ignore him today (not the tile, Benld), and he proceeded to jump up onto the sink, stand on his hind legs and basically crawl up on me until he was in this position. All that while I was trying to put on mascara. It's a wonder I haven't been blinded by his acrobatics.
Thursday, October 25, 2007
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
What you keep
I've been cleaning a lot lately. Some of the stuff that's in my storage unit has been there since I moved into the apartment in downtown Arlington Heights over a year ago, so it's time to go through it. If I haven't used it in a year, I probably don't need it, right?
Except the Christmas decorations. I didn't put them up last year, but I'm not tossing them yet. Besides, this might be the year. Will you come help me decorate?
Anyhoo, I got to thinking about stuff I've gotten rid of, and stuff I've kept. Somehow, that train of thought always brings me back around to Christopher. He "encouraged" me to get rid of a lot of stuff. My Fiestaware. Shoes ... how many pairs of shoes? Books, to make room for his. And I willingly did it, in the name of love.
But the stuff that I kept, and the stuff I've acquired since he left, is so much cooler. And by "stuff" here, I mean people. Sure, my collection of antique juicers is much smaller now than it was in the days B.C. (before Christopher,) but my collection of amazing, loving people is better than ever!
There are people I neglected during the marriage - most notably Kelly and Kevin and the kids, and Cute Brian. There are people who were on the periphery of my life but never allowed in, like Kim, and Mom Terry. And there are new people - Dale, Angel, Nemo, Elaina (the greatest ex-wife-in-law a woman can have!) and scores of others I'm just beginning to know. People whose warmth and love fill my life with incredible joy.
The amazing thing is, he might have taken my soul and my confidence with him when he left, but I can get that back, and I think over time I will. But he didn't really take anything else, except our bread machine. Most of the people refuse to choose sides, and those who have chosen, well ... I think they still wish him the best, even though they don't want to be in his life. So what did I really lose?
I lost a man who couldn't love me after the money ran out. I lost a man who chose to love someone else besides the woman to whom he promised forever. And yes, I lost some of who I am - the graceful, confident woman I once was. But I get to keep a new spirit, fueled by people whose love is boundless, whose energy is intoxicating, and whose faith in me inspires me every day. He lost the wonder that is me, and kept ... well, Her and Her Four Kids.
Live A.D. (after Divorce) really isn't half bad. And most of the time, it's all good.
Except the Christmas decorations. I didn't put them up last year, but I'm not tossing them yet. Besides, this might be the year. Will you come help me decorate?
Anyhoo, I got to thinking about stuff I've gotten rid of, and stuff I've kept. Somehow, that train of thought always brings me back around to Christopher. He "encouraged" me to get rid of a lot of stuff. My Fiestaware. Shoes ... how many pairs of shoes? Books, to make room for his. And I willingly did it, in the name of love.
But the stuff that I kept, and the stuff I've acquired since he left, is so much cooler. And by "stuff" here, I mean people. Sure, my collection of antique juicers is much smaller now than it was in the days B.C. (before Christopher,) but my collection of amazing, loving people is better than ever!
There are people I neglected during the marriage - most notably Kelly and Kevin and the kids, and Cute Brian. There are people who were on the periphery of my life but never allowed in, like Kim, and Mom Terry. And there are new people - Dale, Angel, Nemo, Elaina (the greatest ex-wife-in-law a woman can have!) and scores of others I'm just beginning to know. People whose warmth and love fill my life with incredible joy.
The amazing thing is, he might have taken my soul and my confidence with him when he left, but I can get that back, and I think over time I will. But he didn't really take anything else, except our bread machine. Most of the people refuse to choose sides, and those who have chosen, well ... I think they still wish him the best, even though they don't want to be in his life. So what did I really lose?
I lost a man who couldn't love me after the money ran out. I lost a man who chose to love someone else besides the woman to whom he promised forever. And yes, I lost some of who I am - the graceful, confident woman I once was. But I get to keep a new spirit, fueled by people whose love is boundless, whose energy is intoxicating, and whose faith in me inspires me every day. He lost the wonder that is me, and kept ... well, Her and Her Four Kids.
Live A.D. (after Divorce) really isn't half bad. And most of the time, it's all good.
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
According to Matthew
All through my life, up until 1993, I was heavily involved in theater. I've been in the chorus and I've been the lead, but the best experiences have come from being a part of an ensemble cast. You know, those groups that just come together and work so well you never want to take that final bow.
In 1987, I found myself working with a cast like that. We were reviving "Godspell," the musical based on the Gospel According to Matthew, at Aurora University. They had run the show a few years previously with great success, and wanted to reprise the magic. Many members of the same cast, myself included, went on to tour the show with Broadway Bound Players, performing all over Illinois.
And now, 20 years later, we will revive it once more.
This Sunday, October 28, at Our Lady Good Counsel church in Aurora, many members of our 1987 cast will join together again to share in a concert version of the show. We'll share our favorite parables and the music and (hopefully) rediscover the magic.
But the real magic for me happened at rehearsal. I hadn't seen some of my castmates in 20 years. Keith and Val had gone on to their "real lives" and we just lost touch. And yet, to be in their presence again, it is as if we never missed a beat. In Keith I once again find the man who never fails to make me laugh, or inspire me with his innate ability to become part of the scenery. And Val ... sometimes ya just gotta say "wow." She and I were never particularly close, but I remember loving her anyway. But the woman she has become is someone I admire - she is strong and confident and funny, and she and I seem to relate on a very personal level.
When I left that first rehearsal, I felt full. Not of food (although Patrick's dad did not disappoint!) but of love and friendship - the sort of friendship that stands the test of time and proves itself stronger than you ever thought possible.
So if you don't have anything to do this Sunday night, join us in Aurora at 7 p.m. for "Godspell: The Concert." If for no other reason than to see if we've still got "it" after 20 years.
In 1987, I found myself working with a cast like that. We were reviving "Godspell," the musical based on the Gospel According to Matthew, at Aurora University. They had run the show a few years previously with great success, and wanted to reprise the magic. Many members of the same cast, myself included, went on to tour the show with Broadway Bound Players, performing all over Illinois.
And now, 20 years later, we will revive it once more.
This Sunday, October 28, at Our Lady Good Counsel church in Aurora, many members of our 1987 cast will join together again to share in a concert version of the show. We'll share our favorite parables and the music and (hopefully) rediscover the magic.
But the real magic for me happened at rehearsal. I hadn't seen some of my castmates in 20 years. Keith and Val had gone on to their "real lives" and we just lost touch. And yet, to be in their presence again, it is as if we never missed a beat. In Keith I once again find the man who never fails to make me laugh, or inspire me with his innate ability to become part of the scenery. And Val ... sometimes ya just gotta say "wow." She and I were never particularly close, but I remember loving her anyway. But the woman she has become is someone I admire - she is strong and confident and funny, and she and I seem to relate on a very personal level.
When I left that first rehearsal, I felt full. Not of food (although Patrick's dad did not disappoint!) but of love and friendship - the sort of friendship that stands the test of time and proves itself stronger than you ever thought possible.
So if you don't have anything to do this Sunday night, join us in Aurora at 7 p.m. for "Godspell: The Concert." If for no other reason than to see if we've still got "it" after 20 years.
Saturday, October 20, 2007
Friday, October 19, 2007
The weekend, finally
This week has totally kicked my ass. But, you'll be happy to note, I kicked right back.
It occurred to me this morning that it was really past time for me to quit the belly-achin' over my rough workweek. After all, less than a year ago I had no job, no reasonable source of income, and barely a roof over my head. I am fortunate to have a rough week at work!
And other than looming deadlines and opportunities to work miracles, the week has had some pretty good points, too. I've enjoyed my time at the gym, and I'm looking forward to going tonight. I had a great conversation with Cute Brian. I embraced my inner Meredith. I made chili, butternut squash soup, and pizza ... all three taste great with Harvest Moon beer. I've slept the sleep of angels, sat in the sauna until I had the complexion of a 20 year old, and curled up under a quilt to watch television.
So, yes, it's been one of those weeks. But that's not really a bad thing. All things considered, I'd say I worked hard enough to truly earn my weekend.
It occurred to me this morning that it was really past time for me to quit the belly-achin' over my rough workweek. After all, less than a year ago I had no job, no reasonable source of income, and barely a roof over my head. I am fortunate to have a rough week at work!
And other than looming deadlines and opportunities to work miracles, the week has had some pretty good points, too. I've enjoyed my time at the gym, and I'm looking forward to going tonight. I had a great conversation with Cute Brian. I embraced my inner Meredith. I made chili, butternut squash soup, and pizza ... all three taste great with Harvest Moon beer. I've slept the sleep of angels, sat in the sauna until I had the complexion of a 20 year old, and curled up under a quilt to watch television.
So, yes, it's been one of those weeks. But that's not really a bad thing. All things considered, I'd say I worked hard enough to truly earn my weekend.
Thursday, October 18, 2007
Crappy day? Here's what to do
So yesterday sucked. Today's not looking like much of an improvement. But I am feeling like I can handle it, because I have stuff in my bag o' tricks that never fail to make me feel better. Next time you have a rough day, try something like this:
- Call Kelly and ask her to say "motherfuckingcocksucker." It's like listening to a bunny swear at you.
- Sweat. Get some endorphins running through your system. It really works.
- Beer.
- Watch something really engaging, but not heavy, on television. An episode of the British show "Jekyll" works wonders.
- Talk to my dad. The white James Earl Jones is always on deck with sage advice, but not before he's made me find a solution myself.
- Bubble bath. With lots of bubbles. And candles. And music. And a glass of something tasty.
And if all that fails, just go to bed. It won't look quite so crappy in the morning.
Wednesday, October 17, 2007
When bad work happens to good people
Well, shit.
The deadline looms, and I'm not proud of my work.
To be fair, over the last couple of weeks I've written a couple of headlines that still make me giggle, a letter for our CEO that made me and my boss proud to work here, even though we both knew every word came out of my noggin, and worked a miracle on a presentation for our Zone Managers.
But today, working on another presentation, I am completely eating it. There is nothing creative I can do to fix it, short of including subliminal messages. It's just not going to happen.
I suck. And not in a good way.
The deadline looms, and I'm not proud of my work.
To be fair, over the last couple of weeks I've written a couple of headlines that still make me giggle, a letter for our CEO that made me and my boss proud to work here, even though we both knew every word came out of my noggin, and worked a miracle on a presentation for our Zone Managers.
But today, working on another presentation, I am completely eating it. There is nothing creative I can do to fix it, short of including subliminal messages. It's just not going to happen.
I suck. And not in a good way.
Body = Temple?
So I've been doing the gym thing for a month now. Baby steps, Margot. Rome wasn't built in a day, and neither was that ass. I'm truly enjoying the workouts. There's something different to do whenever I feel like changing it up a bit. Tomorrow, I'm doing a Salsa/Funk class. This weekend, it's yoga.
Last night, I met with my nutritionist. She's not just my nutritionist, of course, but it sounds very fancy to say I met with my nutritionist, so tough cookies.
Mmmm ... cookies ...
Okay, back to nutrition.
Melissa is the nutritionist on staff at Life Time Fitness, my gym. She's a delight - she understands the need for baby steps. I'm not going to just turn a complete 180 and start liking vegetables, you know? So we talked about what I like to eat for meals and snacks. And as I talked, I started seeing patterns. During the week, I have pretty good habits.
On the weekends, my favorite snack is tequila.
Well, at least it's not a foo-foo sugary drink that adds even more empty calories!
So I'm still not treating my body like a temple. Maybe if some hot guy would worship at the Temple of Margot, I'd get on board with that.
Last night, I met with my nutritionist. She's not just my nutritionist, of course, but it sounds very fancy to say I met with my nutritionist, so tough cookies.
Mmmm ... cookies ...
Okay, back to nutrition.
Melissa is the nutritionist on staff at Life Time Fitness, my gym. She's a delight - she understands the need for baby steps. I'm not going to just turn a complete 180 and start liking vegetables, you know? So we talked about what I like to eat for meals and snacks. And as I talked, I started seeing patterns. During the week, I have pretty good habits.
On the weekends, my favorite snack is tequila.
Well, at least it's not a foo-foo sugary drink that adds even more empty calories!
So I'm still not treating my body like a temple. Maybe if some hot guy would worship at the Temple of Margot, I'd get on board with that.
Tuesday, October 16, 2007
From apples to popcorn
Had great plans to pick apples and bake delicious pies on Sunday, but the weather was being an asshole.
Sometimes, ya just gotta go with the flow. So we flowed.
Kelly came home from work and we decided not to brave the orchard in the rain. We sat and talked (as women often do) and eventually decided to see a movie. There is nothing better than grown women (me, Kelly and Amber) seeing a teenage chick flick. Sydney White is definitely on our list of recommended movies for a rainy Sunday afternoon! We shared popcorn and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
The world gave us rain, and we had fun anyway. Take THAT, weatherman!
And by the way, I just noticed that "popcorn" is just porn with extra letters.
Sometimes, ya just gotta go with the flow. So we flowed.
Kelly came home from work and we decided not to brave the orchard in the rain. We sat and talked (as women often do) and eventually decided to see a movie. There is nothing better than grown women (me, Kelly and Amber) seeing a teenage chick flick. Sydney White is definitely on our list of recommended movies for a rainy Sunday afternoon! We shared popcorn and thoroughly enjoyed ourselves.
The world gave us rain, and we had fun anyway. Take THAT, weatherman!
And by the way, I just noticed that "popcorn" is just porn with extra letters.
Sunday, October 14, 2007
Groovy ghoulies
Today was day one of the Weekend of Fall Fun. We took Great America by storm.
You can tell who was born when by what they call the park. Younguns call it Six Flags. To our generation, it will always be Great America. Secretly, it's still Marriott's to us. As long as they still have the Eagle, I don't care what you call it.
The drive was fun, mostly because Kelly brought sustenance for the journey. It's truly fall now, because we've had pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
We met at Gurnee Mills, and everyone piled into the Jeep of Love so we could park close and for free, since Aubri has preferred parking. Seriously, the 12-year-old has parking privileges. The little man who directed us to parking seemed surprised when I kissed him, but he offered his other cheek too, so I don't think he minded.
We spent most of the day wandering around soaking up the atmosphere. We saw one of the shows, enjoyed one of the haunted houses, and rode the Eagle. Other than that, we really just wandered and enjoyed being together in a place that was all about fun. In the haunted house, Kelly was scared. Scared enough that she actually thought I'd protect her. She was a real trouper until the chainsaw guy came at her. And his friend came from behind. Then, she turned into a big chicken. She tried to melt into the pavement. She only proceeded in squeezing through Patrick's legs. Oh, sure, that's going to protect you.
The street performers were amazing. They were dressed as werewolves (there wolves!) and vampires and trolls, and they had great characters and costumes. It really set a great mood.
The only line we waited in was for food. It shouldn't take an hour to get amusement park Chinese food, but it did. It was good, though, so I'm not gonna complain.
By the end of the evening, we all felt like old friends, even though Patrick's only met Amber once and none of us knew Melissa and Michelle was new to the group, too. The thing that just gets me is, it doesn't matter how well we know you. If you know someone we love, we will love you, too. And you will spend your day laughing and joking with us as if we've known you all our lives. That's part of what makes us special, I think. That and the insanity.
More tomorrow. The orchard will never be the same.
You can tell who was born when by what they call the park. Younguns call it Six Flags. To our generation, it will always be Great America. Secretly, it's still Marriott's to us. As long as they still have the Eagle, I don't care what you call it.
The drive was fun, mostly because Kelly brought sustenance for the journey. It's truly fall now, because we've had pumpkin chocolate chip cookies.
We met at Gurnee Mills, and everyone piled into the Jeep of Love so we could park close and for free, since Aubri has preferred parking. Seriously, the 12-year-old has parking privileges. The little man who directed us to parking seemed surprised when I kissed him, but he offered his other cheek too, so I don't think he minded.
We spent most of the day wandering around soaking up the atmosphere. We saw one of the shows, enjoyed one of the haunted houses, and rode the Eagle. Other than that, we really just wandered and enjoyed being together in a place that was all about fun. In the haunted house, Kelly was scared. Scared enough that she actually thought I'd protect her. She was a real trouper until the chainsaw guy came at her. And his friend came from behind. Then, she turned into a big chicken. She tried to melt into the pavement. She only proceeded in squeezing through Patrick's legs. Oh, sure, that's going to protect you.
The street performers were amazing. They were dressed as werewolves (there wolves!) and vampires and trolls, and they had great characters and costumes. It really set a great mood.
The only line we waited in was for food. It shouldn't take an hour to get amusement park Chinese food, but it did. It was good, though, so I'm not gonna complain.
By the end of the evening, we all felt like old friends, even though Patrick's only met Amber once and none of us knew Melissa and Michelle was new to the group, too. The thing that just gets me is, it doesn't matter how well we know you. If you know someone we love, we will love you, too. And you will spend your day laughing and joking with us as if we've known you all our lives. That's part of what makes us special, I think. That and the insanity.
More tomorrow. The orchard will never be the same.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Be nice
After what seems like months of dodging the bullet, I think the sicky-poo train finally caught up with me. Stuffy nose, watery/itchy eyes, thick throat, and a general feeling of listlessness ... Margot has a cold.
Maybe it's because I'm sleeping in the freakin' deepfreeze?
Maybe it's because I'm sleeping in the freakin' deepfreeze?
Brrrrr
There is no heat in my apartment.
Well, there is heat, but so far it's not operational. When I went to bed, it was 58 degrees. I soaked in a hot bath, hopped up, put on my ugly robe, ran into the bedroom and skittered under the sheets with the robe still on because the sheets were damn cold.
On the bed, there is: flannel sheets, flannel pillowcases, an old blanket, a quilt, a down comforter and another quilt. There is enough weight there that it feels like I'm being crused with soft things (oh, sweet torture!)
And still, it's cold. At 2 a.m. I wake up and can finally slither out of the robe. The cats are mocking me as they saunter around in their little fur coats.
Hopefully the landlord will figure this out soon. There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.
Well, there is heat, but so far it's not operational. When I went to bed, it was 58 degrees. I soaked in a hot bath, hopped up, put on my ugly robe, ran into the bedroom and skittered under the sheets with the robe still on because the sheets were damn cold.
On the bed, there is: flannel sheets, flannel pillowcases, an old blanket, a quilt, a down comforter and another quilt. There is enough weight there that it feels like I'm being crused with soft things (oh, sweet torture!)
And still, it's cold. At 2 a.m. I wake up and can finally slither out of the robe. The cats are mocking me as they saunter around in their little fur coats.
Hopefully the landlord will figure this out soon. There is nothing worse than a cold toilet seat.
Thursday, October 11, 2007
New tires and Mildred Pierce
I had an appointment at National Tire & Battery this morning. A 7 a.m. appointment. Now, for a girl who prefers not to be up until the crack of Noon, the alarm at 6 a.m. was quite startling. So I snoozed. Twice. Leaving no time for coffee before I ran out of the house.
It's four tires and an oil change. I'm the first appointment of the day. How long can it take? An hour or so and I'll hit the Starbucks and be on my way.
Except the universe had other plans. I was basically held hostage by NTB and Turner Classic Movies, which was the only channel I could get in on the television in the waiting room. I read my book for awhile, and got sucked into "Mildred Pierce" an old film from 1945 starring Joan "No More Wire Hangers" Crawford as the title character and a bunch of people I didn't know. The standout in the film was Eve Arden as Ida, the tough-as-nails restaurant hostess who gives Mildred her first job. She delivered lines like "When men get around me, they get allergic to wedding rings" with the perfect amount of sarcasm and sweetness whe was awesome! Also unforgettable is Butterfly McQueen, she of "I don't no nothin' 'bout birthin' babies" fame. And yes, that is her real voice.
But my point is, I watched the entire movie, plus part of "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." I was finally on my way to work with a lot less time and money than I'd had when I started my day.
And I still hadn't had any coffee. Thank God for Starbuck's.
Anyhoo, the car's all put back together, riding like a dream. The oil's changed, the wipers are new, and the shimmy in the front end is but a memory. Anybody wanna go for a ride?
It's four tires and an oil change. I'm the first appointment of the day. How long can it take? An hour or so and I'll hit the Starbucks and be on my way.
Except the universe had other plans. I was basically held hostage by NTB and Turner Classic Movies, which was the only channel I could get in on the television in the waiting room. I read my book for awhile, and got sucked into "Mildred Pierce" an old film from 1945 starring Joan "No More Wire Hangers" Crawford as the title character and a bunch of people I didn't know. The standout in the film was Eve Arden as Ida, the tough-as-nails restaurant hostess who gives Mildred her first job. She delivered lines like "When men get around me, they get allergic to wedding rings" with the perfect amount of sarcasm and sweetness whe was awesome! Also unforgettable is Butterfly McQueen, she of "I don't no nothin' 'bout birthin' babies" fame. And yes, that is her real voice.But my point is, I watched the entire movie, plus part of "Treasure of the Sierra Madre." I was finally on my way to work with a lot less time and money than I'd had when I started my day.
And I still hadn't had any coffee. Thank God for Starbuck's.
Anyhoo, the car's all put back together, riding like a dream. The oil's changed, the wipers are new, and the shimmy in the front end is but a memory. Anybody wanna go for a ride?
Wednesday, October 10, 2007
Flannel sheets
It's chilly out today, and I like it.
Kelly, before you slap me, consider this: I married a guy who was miserable for about seven months out of every year. And when Christopher was miserable, everyone was miserable. So I'm going to revel in every glorious moment of this fall and winter, just because I can.
Think about it. A whole season tailor-made for cuddling, wearing cute sweaters, drinking Cocoa Kelly (or Cocoa Margot, which I prefer), sleeping under piles of quilts, making chili, sitting by the fire (even if it is just the fireplace at Starbucks), learning to ski (hey, maybe I will!), ice skating, snow angels, vintage coats, wearing your Auntie Margot hats ... can you dig it?
Give in, and enjoy the season with me. Sleep naked in the flannel sheets. It's good for the soul.
Kelly, before you slap me, consider this: I married a guy who was miserable for about seven months out of every year. And when Christopher was miserable, everyone was miserable. So I'm going to revel in every glorious moment of this fall and winter, just because I can.
Think about it. A whole season tailor-made for cuddling, wearing cute sweaters, drinking Cocoa Kelly (or Cocoa Margot, which I prefer), sleeping under piles of quilts, making chili, sitting by the fire (even if it is just the fireplace at Starbucks), learning to ski (hey, maybe I will!), ice skating, snow angels, vintage coats, wearing your Auntie Margot hats ... can you dig it?
Give in, and enjoy the season with me. Sleep naked in the flannel sheets. It's good for the soul.
Tuesday, October 9, 2007
Good ankle day
I've always liked my ankles. In recent years, howev, they have not been kind to me. The bigger my butt got, the more my ankles would swell.
Started going to the gym, et voila, I already have my ankles back. After wearing strappy stilettos on Friday and then standing on concrete all night Saturday, they doggies were a'howlin', but they've forgiven me and I once again have my feminine, sweet ankles. They make me happy.
So there's three things about me that I really like: My ankles, my wrists and my sense of humor. Sometimes even in that order.
Which made me think ... right now, at this moment, what are my favorite things about my friends?
Started going to the gym, et voila, I already have my ankles back. After wearing strappy stilettos on Friday and then standing on concrete all night Saturday, they doggies were a'howlin', but they've forgiven me and I once again have my feminine, sweet ankles. They make me happy.
So there's three things about me that I really like: My ankles, my wrists and my sense of humor. Sometimes even in that order.
Which made me think ... right now, at this moment, what are my favorite things about my friends?
- Kelly's unconditional love, even when I don't deserve it
- Kim's laugh - it's like champagne
- Kevin's intuition
- Brian's instinctive knowledge of when I need a hug
- Nemo's can. Oops, I'm sorry, I meant his deep, sultry voice
- Amber's combination of childlike sophistication; no one else could carry that off
- Angel's willingness to try anything
- Patrick's openness
- Aimee's wacky way of seeing the world
- Dale's "true stories"
Monday, October 8, 2007
Princess, Bandito and Daughter
Had a jam-packed weekend planned. Not everything turned out as intended, but all's well that ends well, I suppose.
Friday night was Libby's Princess Party. It began with an awesome festive atmosphere and a ride in a 22-seat Hummer limo. It ended with a less festive atmosphere, a couple of pukey drunk princesses (which, incidentally, isn't allowed, per Section II Article V in the Princess Handbook.) In between there was music, dancing, cute bar guy, a Mexican wedding (which some of the princesses seemed to find more fun than our party) and an invitation to the stairwell. If I may say so myself, we all looked resplendent in our Princess Finest - Angel with her sparkly shirt, Amber in a black halter dress that complimented every curve, Libby looking like something straight out of a storybook, and I in the killer heels. I wore a dress, too, so don't get any ideas.
Callen and Scooby were our doormen, and they were the perfect gentlemen all evening. Callen's intensely sweet nature made the evening very special.
I slept in a bit Saturday and then headed home, because Cute Brian and I were going to Joe's Bar in Chicago to see Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers.
Best. Concert. Ever.
They played everything. 2 1/2 hours straight, with no break, they played. I have never seen four more hard-working musicians as these guys. The atmosphere was electric, the beer was ice cold, and we turned it into a party with old friends who just met.
The opened with Mexico, closed with Nada, and in between played stuff from the old Refreshments days intermixed with newer stuff. They played Banditos, and Down Together, and Contraband, and Plenty, and Better Beautiful than Perfect ... and MORE!!! Watching the crowd, you couldn't help but marvel at the cross-section of society these guys attract. Some more familiar with the old stuff, some the new, but everyone enjoyed every song.
Green & Dumb made me cry a bit, and I tried to do it subtley. The tears faded quickly when Brian put his arm around me, and his other arm around Blonde Woman who was one of our new best buds, and the next thing we knew we had a line of people, arms around each other, swaying in time to the music. In that moment, I felt fortunate to feel so alive. I have a hard time describing it. Brian summed it up in two words: Cowboy hats and beer. I added tequila, sweat and tears.
After the show came the best part: I got to drive the Jeep home. Not my Jeep - Brian's, the sweet little open-top slice of automotive heaven, with the top down, of course. I smiled the whole way.
From there, my weekend got a little weird(er), with family and Dad stuff and real life needing my attention, but this was a weekend I will remember for a long time to come.
Friday night was Libby's Princess Party. It began with an awesome festive atmosphere and a ride in a 22-seat Hummer limo. It ended with a less festive atmosphere, a couple of pukey drunk princesses (which, incidentally, isn't allowed, per Section II Article V in the Princess Handbook.) In between there was music, dancing, cute bar guy, a Mexican wedding (which some of the princesses seemed to find more fun than our party) and an invitation to the stairwell. If I may say so myself, we all looked resplendent in our Princess Finest - Angel with her sparkly shirt, Amber in a black halter dress that complimented every curve, Libby looking like something straight out of a storybook, and I in the killer heels. I wore a dress, too, so don't get any ideas.
Callen and Scooby were our doormen, and they were the perfect gentlemen all evening. Callen's intensely sweet nature made the evening very special.
I slept in a bit Saturday and then headed home, because Cute Brian and I were going to Joe's Bar in Chicago to see Roger Clyne & the Peacemakers.
Best. Concert. Ever.
They played everything. 2 1/2 hours straight, with no break, they played. I have never seen four more hard-working musicians as these guys. The atmosphere was electric, the beer was ice cold, and we turned it into a party with old friends who just met.
The opened with Mexico, closed with Nada, and in between played stuff from the old Refreshments days intermixed with newer stuff. They played Banditos, and Down Together, and Contraband, and Plenty, and Better Beautiful than Perfect ... and MORE!!! Watching the crowd, you couldn't help but marvel at the cross-section of society these guys attract. Some more familiar with the old stuff, some the new, but everyone enjoyed every song.
Green & Dumb made me cry a bit, and I tried to do it subtley. The tears faded quickly when Brian put his arm around me, and his other arm around Blonde Woman who was one of our new best buds, and the next thing we knew we had a line of people, arms around each other, swaying in time to the music. In that moment, I felt fortunate to feel so alive. I have a hard time describing it. Brian summed it up in two words: Cowboy hats and beer. I added tequila, sweat and tears.
After the show came the best part: I got to drive the Jeep home. Not my Jeep - Brian's, the sweet little open-top slice of automotive heaven, with the top down, of course. I smiled the whole way.
From there, my weekend got a little weird(er), with family and Dad stuff and real life needing my attention, but this was a weekend I will remember for a long time to come.
Friday, October 5, 2007
Multi-state weekend of fun
I get to be a princess, a groupie, and an aunt, all in the same weekend.
Tonight is Libby's Princess Party, where we all get to dress in our blingy best to celebrate our sparkly friend's birthday. She has hired a limo to escort us all to the party venues! Won't that be the most fun?
Tomorrow night, Cute Brian and I are going to Joe's Bar in Chicago to see Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. Brian has promised to drive with the top down on the Jeep, ergo I am looking forward to the drive as much as I am the show.
Then on Sunday, I get the pleasure of seeing my wonderful niece in an awful show. Aubri is playing the lead in "Pippi Longstocking, the Family Musical." I am looking forward to seeing Aubri, and Kelly, and Kevin. But I am really looking forward to curtain call. The Rathundes will be awesome, but even their extraordinary talent can not make this show good.
After that, I'll be heading home to sleep. I think I'll need it!
Tonight is Libby's Princess Party, where we all get to dress in our blingy best to celebrate our sparkly friend's birthday. She has hired a limo to escort us all to the party venues! Won't that be the most fun?
Tomorrow night, Cute Brian and I are going to Joe's Bar in Chicago to see Roger Clyne and the Peacemakers. Brian has promised to drive with the top down on the Jeep, ergo I am looking forward to the drive as much as I am the show.
Then on Sunday, I get the pleasure of seeing my wonderful niece in an awful show. Aubri is playing the lead in "Pippi Longstocking, the Family Musical." I am looking forward to seeing Aubri, and Kelly, and Kevin. But I am really looking forward to curtain call. The Rathundes will be awesome, but even their extraordinary talent can not make this show good.
After that, I'll be heading home to sleep. I think I'll need it!
Thursday, October 4, 2007
Should've just had McDonald's
Clearly I've been craving Chinese food, because today for lunch I had it for the second time this week. But I swear on all that's good and holy, I have got to stop eating it because Chinese people hate me.
Here's the fortune I got in today's cookie:
Love is when someone gives to the other the best piece of chicken
Beg pardon? You want me to suck your what?
I'm looking for guidance and wisdom. I get chicken philosphy. Fuck you, China.
Here's the fortune I got in today's cookie:
Love is when someone gives to the other the best piece of chicken
Beg pardon? You want me to suck your what?
I'm looking for guidance and wisdom. I get chicken philosphy. Fuck you, China.
Wednesday, October 3, 2007
Vegetarians and Chinese food
I had dinner with my friend Melissa last night. Not the Melissa who crashed the wedding, the other one. Come to think of it, I don't think you've met her.
She's a vegetarian, and she ordered Chinese takeout for us to eat at her new house. Her house is just beautiful - she moved in just a few months ago and already it feels like a home. Her dog, Socrates, loves me, but that's probably because I play ball with him. Believe it or not, he's a vegetarian, too! We had Kung Pao Tofu, which was astoundingly tasty, and vegetable friend rice and vegetable egg rolls. It was really delish, but the company was even better.
I've known Meli for nine years. We worked together at Nalco, but I until last night I hadn't seen her in almost two years. We talked and talked, catching each other up on our lives. She told me that when she first started with Nalco, she wanted to get to know me because I am such a confident person. I almost spit out my tea.
I tried to explain to her that inside I often just want to curl up and hide, but she said it takes confidence to have the "this is me, take it or leave it" attitude I have. Well, okay ... I guess she has a point. But you have to take into account the fact that lots of people choose option B, and that always stings!
What I took away from our dinner, which lasted until after 10 p.m., I might add, was that the way the world sees you is rarely the way we see ourselves, and sometimes we just have to accept the fact that whether we believe it or not, our friends' perception of us is good to know, because a true friend sees what's inside and thinks we're amazing.
She's a vegetarian, and she ordered Chinese takeout for us to eat at her new house. Her house is just beautiful - she moved in just a few months ago and already it feels like a home. Her dog, Socrates, loves me, but that's probably because I play ball with him. Believe it or not, he's a vegetarian, too! We had Kung Pao Tofu, which was astoundingly tasty, and vegetable friend rice and vegetable egg rolls. It was really delish, but the company was even better.
I've known Meli for nine years. We worked together at Nalco, but I until last night I hadn't seen her in almost two years. We talked and talked, catching each other up on our lives. She told me that when she first started with Nalco, she wanted to get to know me because I am such a confident person. I almost spit out my tea.
I tried to explain to her that inside I often just want to curl up and hide, but she said it takes confidence to have the "this is me, take it or leave it" attitude I have. Well, okay ... I guess she has a point. But you have to take into account the fact that lots of people choose option B, and that always stings!
What I took away from our dinner, which lasted until after 10 p.m., I might add, was that the way the world sees you is rarely the way we see ourselves, and sometimes we just have to accept the fact that whether we believe it or not, our friends' perception of us is good to know, because a true friend sees what's inside and thinks we're amazing.
Tuesday, October 2, 2007
I wanna be a dentist
What are you doing October 13 & 14? Or December 1?Answer? Hanging out with the Misfits, of course!
Now, gentle reader, I'm not calling you names. Misfits is what we call ourselves, because we were never the popular kids but now we're sort of our own happy harmless street gang. And we're planning on having some fun!
October 13, we're going to Great America for Fright Fest. October 14, we're going to Apple Holler to pick apples, after which we will likely find a kitchen and bake some pies. (You can either bake or just eat.)
December 1 is Misfits Thanksgiving and Caroling. Thanksgiving will be a pot luck meal, and each adult is requested to bring a dish that was a family staple growing up. That means I'll be bringing stuffed cabbage, Kelly will be bringing cheesy potatoes, Patrick will be bringing something pasta or pizza ... what will you be bringing? We'll gather at Amber's house in Lake Geneva, chow down, play some games, and then bundle up to head out to do some Christmas caroling.
More details will be coming when we get closer, and you can always talk to me, Kelly or Patrick if get antsy. Or Amber, of course, regarding Misfits Thanksgiving. (Speaking of which, I hope she meant it when she said we could have it at her house!) But remember this: with the Misfits, everybody fits.
Monday, October 1, 2007
Cute Brian
Cute Brian saves my mood a lot. Cute Brian "gets" me on the platypus days. Cute Brian is cute, and Brian.
The weekend was a little rough, what with the universal rejection of the entire male population of Metropolis, including the one man who is still (technically) my husband. And Cute Brian doesn't tell me to snap out of it. Cute Brian doesn't tell me to quit wallowing in my pajamas. Cute Brian says stuff like this:
"How could I not love you...you're The Mags. And the people who don't see that are way too stupid to live."
Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly inferior, I don't think I deserve his friendship. But I hope he never figures that out.
The weekend was a little rough, what with the universal rejection of the entire male population of Metropolis, including the one man who is still (technically) my husband. And Cute Brian doesn't tell me to snap out of it. Cute Brian doesn't tell me to quit wallowing in my pajamas. Cute Brian says stuff like this:
"How could I not love you...you're The Mags. And the people who don't see that are way too stupid to live."
Sometimes when I'm feeling particularly inferior, I don't think I deserve his friendship. But I hope he never figures that out.
The Update
Ah, weekends. I hung out at home on Friday, had a great trip to the gym on Saturday (which included a heavenly respite in the sauna) and puttered around Chez Mags before hanging out with Brian on Sunday.
Like any stretch of time, this weekend brought with it it's share of life lessons and unanswered questions. Such as ...
Life lessons:
Rejection hurts right now even if he left over a year ago
Pizza and merlot is always a good combo
Cocoa tastes better with squirty whipped cream ... and Rumpleminze
I walk really fast to "Te Dejo Madrid"
My cat is such a whore
So is Kelly ... just ask Brad
Spending a day in your pajamas is good for the soul
The guy who lives downstairs is a lecherous cretin
Brian has lovely shoulders and forearms. Kelly can check his biceps herself.
Unanswered questions:
Why does Brian read the blog but not comment?
Why is it called a "Yoda Soda"?
Why does stuff that's bad for you feel and taste so good?
What is Benld chasing?
Does He realize Judi's ugly? Does that mean I'm ugli-er?
How does the cat hair all get together to form one big clump under the bed?
Why does lounging in the grass on a warm September night feel better than lounging on the grass in July?
Like any stretch of time, this weekend brought with it it's share of life lessons and unanswered questions. Such as ...
Life lessons:
Rejection hurts right now even if he left over a year ago
Pizza and merlot is always a good combo
Cocoa tastes better with squirty whipped cream ... and Rumpleminze
I walk really fast to "Te Dejo Madrid"
My cat is such a whore
So is Kelly ... just ask Brad
Spending a day in your pajamas is good for the soul
The guy who lives downstairs is a lecherous cretin
Brian has lovely shoulders and forearms. Kelly can check his biceps herself.
Unanswered questions:
Why does Brian read the blog but not comment?
Why is it called a "Yoda Soda"?
Why does stuff that's bad for you feel and taste so good?
What is Benld chasing?
Does He realize Judi's ugly? Does that mean I'm ugli-er?
How does the cat hair all get together to form one big clump under the bed?
Why does lounging in the grass on a warm September night feel better than lounging on the grass in July?
If you have a Brazilian wax and no one's around to appreciate it, does it count?
My mom and Elvis
My mom and Elvis have a lot in common. For one thing, they're both dead. For another, they both had a jungle room in their house.
No, wait...that was just Elvis.
So my mom and Elvis just have that one thing in common. But still ...
Mom is probably jumping for joy and looking for someone to hit at the same time. On the one hand, her Cubs are in the playoffs. I can't think of the men in blue without thinking of my mom. The day before she died, we were on the phone together during the game. (During that conversation, she had a horrible headache, which turned out to be a brain tumor that took her off the air in a matter of hours, so I guess it could be said that the Cubs killed my mom.) Anyhoo, the woman is certainly doing the dance of joy over her Cubs, and simultaneously plotting Lovie Smith's demise because the Bears really suck. But I'm not going to complain. It's October, and I'm still watching the Cubs. Life is good.
No, wait...that was just Elvis.
So my mom and Elvis just have that one thing in common. But still ...
Mom is probably jumping for joy and looking for someone to hit at the same time. On the one hand, her Cubs are in the playoffs. I can't think of the men in blue without thinking of my mom. The day before she died, we were on the phone together during the game. (During that conversation, she had a horrible headache, which turned out to be a brain tumor that took her off the air in a matter of hours, so I guess it could be said that the Cubs killed my mom.) Anyhoo, the woman is certainly doing the dance of joy over her Cubs, and simultaneously plotting Lovie Smith's demise because the Bears really suck. But I'm not going to complain. It's October, and I'm still watching the Cubs. Life is good.
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