Clearly I've been craving Chinese food, because today for lunch I had it for the second time this week. But I swear on all that's good and holy, I have got to stop eating it because Chinese people hate me.
Here's the fortune I got in today's cookie:
Love is when someone gives to the other the best piece of chicken
Beg pardon? You want me to suck your what?
I'm looking for guidance and wisdom. I get chicken philosphy. Fuck you, China.