Friday, February 22, 2008

Because I got yelled at

My brother emailed me, just to make sure I was alive. That's his subtle way of telling me I haven't written anything in awhile. He's so very gentle. Gentle the way Hitler was gentle.

Anyhoo, it's been a helluva week. Between Dale diagnosing himself with pneumonia (although I can't seem to recall his graduation from medical school) and subsequently threatening to drown in a pool of his own phlegm to learning that Dad's bowel obstruction is nothing much to worry about to realizing that all men really are stupid, that's not just a rumor ... well, I've had a lot going on, and anything I might write would probably come off sounding bitter and cold.

So here's the big update from Maggie's World:
  • Dale is still alive, as far as I know. This is due mostly to the fact that I don't live close enough to beat him to death on a whim.
  • Brian has been working a lot. This has not worked well with my schedule, as I have needed to vent and he's not taking my calls.
  • Boys suck, and not in a good way. The sonsofbitches need to realize that women's intuition is not an old wive's tale. We know stuff. And one of the things we know is that you don't deserve us, anyway.
  • Dad is perfectly healthy, except for the leukemia, diverticulitis and ulcers.
  • Friends don't want you to hurt. Sometimes they try to fix it, sometimes they don't understand it, but all the time they want the hurt to go away. And sometimes, ya just gotta feel it before you can get over it.
  • I have the self-esteem of a gnat. It's been a bad week, one of those can't-get-out-of-bed, please-don't-look-at-me weeks. And yet, I keep getting out of bed. And people keep looking at me. FOR THE LOVE OF GOD STOP LOOKING AT ME!!!
That's life here in Maggie's World. So, what's new with you?


Anonymous said...

Might I just say, You look mahvelous and of course it is much better to look good than to feel good, dahling.

I love that shirt, by the way.

mags said...

That's funny, because I'm wearing a wrinkled old t-shirt that I slept in. It's not my best look, but I appreciate that you see the beauty in it!

Thanks for the smile, anon.

Col said...

FYI, Dale is fine. He did the normal Karaoke thing and was in much better health this week than last.

He may have been sick by the time he left though, because noone was there to sing so he had to cater to the women of 80's requests. It really was a fun night, but we did make him work.

Glad you are alive and well.

vized06 said...

I can't be Hitler.
I like Jews just fine, thank you.
More of a Stalin.

the maggie said...

This, ladies and gentlemen, is what I get for telling Mike that a Hitler haiku is acceptable.

I am relatively certain that I am going to burn in hell.

I am so glad I have sane friends like Colleen to balance out the mayhem.

vized06 said...

For the record – I didn't ask if Hitler haiku was acceptable.

I was ENCOURAGED to write Hitler haiku.

Maggie is my enabler.

maggie said...

Your point is well taken, Mr. Rice.

Doesn't make us any less twisted, but I guess it's progress.

Yay! I get to see you guys (and by "you guys" I mean "my baby". And by "my baby" I mean "your baby") in 53 days!

Oh, who the hell am I kidding. I can't wait to see you and Rae either. White Castle is calling ...

vized06 said...

Little known fact: Hitler was a HUGE White Castle fan.

maggie said...