Shakespeare?

Tonight I hit the elliptical at the gym. It's been a long time since that was my primary mode of ass-whooping, so I welcomed a bit of company. Jessica, another former hip-hop junkie, joined me for the workout, and after 40 minutes on the elliptical we hopped on the bikes for 20 for an even hour of sweat and camaraderie.

The bikes at the gym are equipped with cable TV, so you can watch during your ride with the controls and stuff off to the side. So, like the good political junkies we are, we were watching coverage of the Republican National Convention. (Side note: Is it just me, or is it simply ludicrous to look at Republicans dressed in hockey jerseys? Have any of them ever even been to a hockey game? And didn't you love when the camera panned to a few of the African Americans there? "See, we have them too!")

Anyway, we're biking, and laughing, and I'm thanking sweet little baby Jesus that Jessica is, as she puts it, "A die-hard, tree-hugging liberal." I knew I liked that girl. Anyway, as the camera focused on yet another helmet-haired, red-and-blue-attired, God-fearing Republican housefrau clutching a handful of American flags, I just can't stand it any more. "See," I said, "we have the most flags. We're the most patriotic!!!"

To which Jessica says, "Well, he who has the most American flags wins. I think Shakespeare said that."

And I practically pee myself right there on the bike. So perfectly delivered, so deadpan, so very funny. I will never look at the Bard quite the same again.